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Array
(
[sid] => 132968
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Ashes fall around me
[time] => 2007-03-22 16:45:48
[hometext] => About my muse and my insecure thought process
[bodytext] => Saw you last night You came to me in a dream There was two K’s One was black One was white You all dressed up tight Staging up hypothetical, right I envision The toxicity of my emotion The belligerent Under, overrated Understanding of my urgent None overwhelming Need or thought of reason There’s nothing that tells me I am true I wonder why the season Has to change And it scares me Am I, a lie? I don’t want to say a thing I want to say nothing While I push these feelings down I want to hide them Cause I couldn’t stand If I came to hurt you All this emotion speaks from deep inside of me I really, really want to be Want to be the one *** Rejection doesn’t really concern me Being alone isn’t something that scares me Falling seems it would be beautiful When thoughts of you fill me up And leave me full Like all the cracks in me Are mended Yet still I break when I want to speak I’m broken when I want to peak I’m torn by what I seek And from the cracks I leak For the pain that lives inside of me I’m all sad And you take away that song When I see you When I wake up Just to hear you leave You take away my pain Even though I will not say You’re beautiful Every piece of my broken heart Tells my brain I want you But why Can I keep you without any lie? I just couldn’t love myself If I hurt you too You see, I don’t trust myself I can’t accept being your pain I know I lived a long time to fix my offense I lived enough to be better But I don’t trust myself enough To tell you everything I really want to Everything in my past I, laid down in my ruins Waiting for the ashes to leave me I witness you And pray you will let me make you my muse This is the only place I can start For I can’t trust my heart It’s left me broken and away from the love I always harbored I don’t want you to be just another one I want my words to have meaning So I know I will not hurt you *** So I will stay silent Till the day I have to balls To ask you to be my muse ‘Cause you, I just can’t use The way my heart feels It just wants to get away from All the ashes that fall around me The ruins that I've burned The place I have failed to leave I just can't let you become apart of my past I want this feeling to last Some one to spread the ash And mark a cross on my forehead [comments] => 1 [counter] => 250 [topic] => 14 [informant] => rhei76 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DreamsandWishes )
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