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Array
(
[sid] => 132759
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Sick
[time] => 2007-03-15 20:04:40
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I'm sick again Too much stress The doctor called I failed the tests Perplexed by my problems They want me to go Another specialist to be seen Tumors continuing to grow There is no fix So learn to live Much pain and frustration I have nothing left to give More needle sticks I say, no thanks You have to have it they say Sending me directly to the blood bank Only if you have experience I say to the phleb walking toward me No...not there... as they stick the needle Watching my veins refuse to bleed I told you so But you wouldn't listen Now comes another With needles that glisten Just one more try Then you can leave Make a fist While I adjust your sleeve I say a prayer inside my head Just let them get my blood this morn The vacutainer begins to fill Lucky this time...veins so worn A few bandages later An apology follows They see my tension They sense my sorrow Glad that they got Those few drops of blood Perhaps enough to tell Wether or not I have a bug Wait while we run the tests For it might not be enough I sit waiting, impatiently While praying to above Forty five minutes later I'm told that its okay The doctor should have the results In just a matter of days Now go home I'm told Am tired and am hurting Its such a long drive My wounds I am nursing Stop...don't turn right For you live there no longer Make a left instead Head back to your mothers Alone in the car Tears stream for the hour Driving in a daze, I make it back Walk in...straight to the shower It is the only place Where I can be alone There is no privacy here For this isn't my home I feel like a stray So wounded, so shattered Don't know where I belong So angry...so tattered A few days go by Then the phone rings Its the doctor calling I need to be seen Immediately they want me there But I'm too far away Too tired to care So I make an appointment For the next day Drive back to the town Where you pushed me away I can't keep doing this Driving back and forth For every time I do my heart Is doused and lit with a torch Have to find new doctors New lab to draw my blood But noone wants to see me Too many problems, too much crud I pull into his office Am told I need a shot It will only hurt a little Liar...it hurt alot New medicine to be on The antibiotics no longer work You need a central line Hidden beneath your shirt We want to admit you For IVs and observation Shaking my head I refuse A hundred times I've had this conversation So they continue writing In my thickest chart That I refused once again Refused to play the part In their poking and prodding Can't they see I've had enough? I won't do it again Have to stay strong, stay tough I'm tired of being a pin cushion A case to be reviewed Need to find some peace So my spirit can renew These problems have no solution There is no cure in sight Live with the pain, continue therapy Don't argue, don't be trite But if I don't take control My doctors they would take My only freedom left Poking and prodding for research sake I refuse to be Strapped to a bed To be stuck repeatedly To let them in my head If there isn't hope Or nothing to be done Then being hospitalized serves no purpose Other than to create a bill larger than the sun! [comments] => 3 [counter] => 188 [topic] => 21 [informant] => sena [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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