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Array
(
[sid] => 132723
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Jasal - Suicide
[time] => 2007-03-14 23:23:19
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Aimed by and at myself, I fell into depression KNOWING God was watching...I picked up His free life Laid it on the floor of 332 and sharpened a knife Picked up a picture and wrote "The World Will Never Know" Then stared at it for second and added "of Jasal eui Kairo" I was ticked to see my surface scars - it was almost unfair (But I was thankful that God was always there) From the moment the blade warmed up to sing To the second its sly glare blended my class ring As I my feeble mind began to bind itself in chains When memories started overflowing with slurs and names That used to hurt so badly when I was a kid From society I would whimper as I ran and hid "Hyakusensai Student Found in 332 Dead" The voices the home-front ran through my head... *SLASH!* "Oh, why couldn't he just turn around and notice me?" So saith the conscience of my bride-to-be... *SLASH!* "I wish I would've been there, I wish I could've known" Argh, my daddy's voice ringing, again...chikshou! My "H" and "N" are gone... Like a frustrated pervert, my right hand got tired With the belief that all of my sensory nerves were re-wired Because I felt no pain, but that of my past Of how I lived being called out my name and being put on blast "It won't be long, now...," I whipered against my closet door As I sat in 332 as a disguested, bloody stain on the floor There I was with a knife in my hand And slash marks on my arms and my "HAKKAN" armband Like a foolish child I sat and I cried Not realizing what I had just done and the stupid stunt I just tried Tears mixed with blood, falling slowly to the ground Covered in red on the edge of my bed, the words of my friends resound: "To those who don't care, to those who can't see, [Forget] them haters! Always thrive and be free Excuse my language but, boy, you needz to understand Men of your calibur are in high demand Why lower youself all because they don't believe? Stop tryna be all kiss-ass and MAYBE they'll receive Cuz you don't know how many peepz'll be hurt To watch your dead body get packed down with dirt" My friend standing above me prayed as hard as he could I was too weak to say "I'm sorry," but he knew I would In tears, I looked at the bloody, blue day Wondering why I let God down by choosing this way If you coulda seen that pool of blood and me You would've never believed that that was MY life to be... ...to be continued... [comments] => 0 [counter] => 203 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Kairo [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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