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Array
(
[sid] => 132608
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => poem for a storm
[time] => 2007-03-11 22:58:31
[hometext] => i wrote this one day while my kids and i were outside just before a storm. i later realized it was kinda symbolic of our lives at the time.
[bodytext] => "oh look at the sky"
she cries,
as heavy clouds swim by
like pewter bellied whales
mirrored in her fairy eyes.
and from the lurid
horizon pool she flies-
to my side.
"oh feel the wind"
i say to him,
while he turns to send
me pink treasured trinkets
as the dancing of the leaves begins.
and we stand like mountains
against the atmosphere's bend-
until it ends.
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 334
[topic] => 31
[informant] => priss
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 30
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => StoryPoetry
)
poem for a storm
Contributed by
priss
on
Sunday, 11th March 2007 @ 10:58:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
"oh look at the sky"
she cries,
as heavy clouds swim by
like pewter bellied whales
mirrored in her fairy eyes.
and from the lurid
horizon pool she flies-
to my side.
"oh feel the wind"
i say to him,
while he turns to send
me pink treasured trinkets
as the dancing of the leaves begins.
and we stand like mountains
against the atmosphere's bend-
until it ends.
Copyright ©
priss
... [
2007-03-11 22:58:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 12th March 2007 @ 03:47:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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It's a great piece. The language has a whimsy which I don't quite like in and of itself, but here, in a poem which speaks of family, it works very well. Excellent words and images.
Andrew |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th March 2007 @ 12:37:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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It's so rewarding to find new readers and commenters on my work and then find out they're magnificent poets who become new friends. This piece was absolutely magnificent! First read of your work leads to ... let's see ... I got five more to do so I can post two. Looks like today is for reading five more your works. Really good work.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Tuesday, 13th March 2007 @ 10:34:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I love this and it comes to life with such beautiful imagery.
Bravo
Peace
Yang |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 14th March 2007 @ 07:31:53 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
priss .. what a gentle piece of feathery, poetic beauty.
Your words are exceptionally placed and the imagery here
is incredible. Storms evoke such amazing emotion and
you have placed that down with seemingly effortless
aplomb. Gorgeous write, my friend. Like the flutter of
an angel's wing ..
~Breezy |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 12:32:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
A moment.
wonderful, succinct yet comprehensive.
thankyou,
larkspur |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alex23 on
Saturday, 17th March 2007 @ 08:43:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Very succinct, yet very powerful. When it comes to nature, we tend to think in awe of all the beauty that encompasses it, much like a child. Very good appeal to emtion. Great write! |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 02:56:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very beautifull writing.
Huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 9th April 2007 @ 08:23:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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priss, priss, your motherhood is showing! This may be based on an actual event, but it's pretty clear that the storm symbolises other events and circumstances, even without your comment to tell us.
That said, this is a personally touching piece, having felt these feelings with my own children,and as Andrew commented, the language is perfectly suited.Cudos.
Spike |
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th January 2010 @ 09:14:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This has a charm and beauty while also conveying a malevolence from a powerful angry storm. Very nicely done.
Tim
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Re: poem for a storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by laststarontheleft on
Monday, 4th January 2010 @ 09:40:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This a real gem of a piece!
Beautifully sentimental, and stunning imagery unfolding with each and every word!
Lovely, lovely, lovely!
Star x x x |
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