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Array ( [sid] => 132401 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Daddy Dearest [time] => 2007-03-05 15:12:37 [hometext] => I bet there are many women who feel like this..... [bodytext] => I love you daddy,
This I know,
Even though you didn't care
To watch me grow.

Not exactly a role model,
You were the first man I'd loved.
Didn't you see my tear filled eyes,
As your drunken words cut from above?

How I longed for you to love me.
To be the daddy that I needed.
All those years of drunken violence,
My wants and needs completely defeated.

I'm a grown woman now daddy,
But inside I'm still that little girl,
Full of fear, sadness and hate.
I have trouble letting people in my world.

I still ache for your love.
I still cry at night.
I'm tired of being this little girl,
Full of anguish and fright.

You've ruined me forever.
This I want you to know.
Yet somehow I keep hoping,
That oneday your love will grow.

It's never going to happen,
The past being made right.
So I stuff her deep inside me,
But the little girl, she chooses to fight.

The tears are never ending,
As I write they stain the page.
Why am I going through this?
I thought pain eased with age.

I can't begin to forgive you,
Even though I still hurt.
Because deep down I know,
I'll never hear an apologetic word.

So I will continue stuffing,
This lonesome little girl,
Who only wants to be loved,
And to have her father in her world.
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 184 [topic] => 48 [informant] => sena [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 1 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Daddy Dearest

Contributed by sena on Monday, 5th March 2007 @ 03:12:37 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

I love you daddy,
This I know,
Even though you didn't care
To watch me grow.

Not exactly a role model,
You were the first man I'd loved.
Didn't you see my tear filled eyes,
As your drunken words cut from above?

How I longed for you to love me.
To be the daddy that I needed.
All those years of drunken violence,
My wants and needs completely defeated.

I'm a grown woman now daddy,
But inside I'm still that little girl,
Full of fear, sadness and hate.
I have trouble letting people in my world.

I still ache for your love.
I still cry at night.
I'm tired of being this little girl,
Full of anguish and fright.

You've ruined me forever.
This I want you to know.
Yet somehow I keep hoping,
That oneday your love will grow.

It's never going to happen,
The past being made right.
So I stuff her deep inside me,
But the little girl, she chooses to fight.

The tears are never ending,
As I write they stain the page.
Why am I going through this?
I thought pain eased with age.

I can't begin to forgive you,
Even though I still hurt.
Because deep down I know,
I'll never hear an apologetic word.

So I will continue stuffing,
This lonesome little girl,
Who only wants to be loved,
And to have her father in her world.

Copyright © sena ... [ 2007-03-05 15:12:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Daddy Dearest (User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on Monday, 5th March 2007 @ 03:50:39 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Having had zero relations with my own blood in the same regard I am reminded of the poem read at the end of "Smoke Signals" a wonderful film originally penned by Sherman Alexie:

FORGIVING OUR FATHERS

How do we forgive our fathers?

Maybe in a dream?

Do we forgive our fathers for leaving us too often?

Or forever, when we were little?

Maybe for scaring us with unexpected rage, or making us nervous because there never seemed to be any rage there at all?

Do we forgive our fathers for marrying or not marrying our mothers?

Or for divorcing or not divorcing our mothers?

And shall we forgive them for their excesses of warmth or coldness?

Shall we forgive them for pushing or leaning, or shutting doors?

for speaking thru walls, or never speaking or never being silent?

Do we forgive our fathers in our age, or in theirs?

Or in their deaths, saying it to them, or not saying it.

If we forgive our fathers, what is left? "

Blessing & Peace
Yangdantien

Re: Daddy Dearest (User Rating: 1 )
by priss on Monday, 5th March 2007 @ 04:40:43 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

oh sena,
there are so many of us who can relate, some who never have met their father and some who grew up with and still never knew their father. i can really feel your pain through your words and i truly hope that things work out for you. take care and keep writing.
~p

Re: Daddy Dearest (User Rating: 1 )
by Bleedthelove on Thursday, 8th March 2007 @ 06:09:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Definately relatable. Nicely expressed.

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