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Array ( [sid] => 130824 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => *Gemini/Jasmini pt. 2* [time] => 2007-01-21 17:30:22 [hometext] => Another I just finished penning about a minute ago, seems as though recent struggle has been little enough inspiration for some new poetry. [bodytext] =>
Yes I'm afraid it was
All real
But we aren't ready
I already told you
It doesn't matter
I did it without you
You'll pay for this
I will ruin you
For what?
Something so usual and dimunitive
Yes I felt you for years
Dominating
Well see I've been contemplating
And I just don't agree
It was true
Everything was about you
No, you've prevailed
For sometime now
But to no avail
My time did not exceed
I'm sorry my friend
But I do believe it was your greed
Don't say that
I just look out for us
No, you've shut us in
And everything out
I know you
Better even then you do
I won't dispute
But I will hold strong
I'm sorry
But your hold won't last long
For that idea
You are entitled
No, this is fact
In our world, in our mind
Don't be angry with me
It will do no good
Well I refuse your recent
Action and motions to mind
Alright well I refuse your penalty
To pay
We'll see
For you are me
And I will put it simply
You are me...

~ThEnD [comments] => 2 [counter] => 191 [topic] => 61 [informant] => CuriousitysCat [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
*GeminiJasmini pt. 2*

Contributed by CuriousitysCat on Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 05:30:22 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



Yes I'm afraid it was
All real
But we aren't ready
I already told you
It doesn't matter
I did it without you
You'll pay for this
I will ruin you
For what?
Something so usual and dimunitive
Yes I felt you for years
Dominating
Well see I've been contemplating
And I just don't agree
It was true
Everything was about you
No, you've prevailed
For sometime now
But to no avail
My time did not exceed
I'm sorry my friend
But I do believe it was your greed
Don't say that
I just look out for us
No, you've shut us in
And everything out
I know you
Better even then you do
I won't dispute
But I will hold strong
I'm sorry
But your hold won't last long
For that idea
You are entitled
No, this is fact
In our world, in our mind
Don't be angry with me
It will do no good
Well I refuse your recent
Action and motions to mind
Alright well I refuse your penalty
To pay
We'll see
For you are me
And I will put it simply
You are me...

~ThEnD




Copyright © CuriousitysCat ... [ 2007-01-21 17:30:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: *GeminiJasmini pt. 2* (User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 06:03:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Great internal conflict & I love that resolution is found...even if it is an uneasy resolution. At least both sides got to have their say & better still...that both sides were heard!

I dig the awareness this speaks of to me...
Excellent job, babez!
BigLove
~your MisfitMum


Re: *GeminiJasmini pt. 2* (User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 09:59:45 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Your pen is becoming well honed to capture your intent and passionate artistic talent is bearing fruit.

I am a big fan of finding balance with minimal editing while practicing the art of omission.
Forgive the prolonged comment but this reminds me of a poem I heard in the documentary "Once We Were Kings' about the "Rumble in the Jungle' a boxing match between Mohamed Ali and George Foreman who was the clear favorite and every on was worried about Ali's safety. The sports writer George Plimpton referred to a poem Ali gave at a collegiate commencement speech he claimed it maybe the shortest poem in the English language and is on point for the conclusion of your write. Ali said :

"Me, We."

He won the fight by introducing the "Rope-a-Dope" style of boxing which uses the opponents waste of energy against him.

Good Job

Thank You for Posting this as I found it most stimulating.

Peace
Yang




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