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Array ( [sid] => 130800 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Ocean Waves [time] => 2007-01-21 01:39:14 [hometext] => This is a slow song that i've done, many of the words are held just in case anyone wanted to know, let me know what you think, thanks. [bodytext] => Ocean waves,
moves back and fourth.
Ocean waves,
carry me far away.
To a distant land,
where we’ve never been to.

(Break)

Ocean waves,
Crashing upon the boat.
Ocean Waves,
Will you allow me to get there?

(Break)

Ocean waves, before the storm.
Ocean waves, the sea is calling.

Do I answer? the sea is vengeful.
Where I am headed, they can never touch us.

Ocean waves
without a paddle
Ocean waves
I’ll travel still
I’ve dreamed of going there,
since before time began

(Break)

Ocean waves
Drifting closer
Ocean waves
the water splashes inside

As night gets closer, land drifts nearer
my prayers will be answered, My boat floods still

The Land so close to the touch,
My boat it floods still.
My prayers will soon be answered,
As I drift Alone in the sea...... [comments] => 2 [counter] => 216 [topic] => 34 [informant] => silver_crested_shadow [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SongLyrics )
Ocean Waves

Contributed by silver_crested_shadow on Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 01:39:14 AM in AEST
Topic: SongLyrics



Ocean waves,
moves back and fourth.
Ocean waves,
carry me far away.
To a distant land,
where we’ve never been to.

(Break)

Ocean waves,
Crashing upon the boat.
Ocean Waves,
Will you allow me to get there?

(Break)

Ocean waves, before the storm.
Ocean waves, the sea is calling.

Do I answer? the sea is vengeful.
Where I am headed, they can never touch us.

Ocean waves
without a paddle
Ocean waves
I’ll travel still
I’ve dreamed of going there,
since before time began

(Break)

Ocean waves
Drifting closer
Ocean waves
the water splashes inside

As night gets closer, land drifts nearer
my prayers will be answered, My boat floods still

The Land so close to the touch,
My boat it floods still.
My prayers will soon be answered,
As I drift Alone in the sea......




Copyright © silver_crested_shadow ... [ 2007-01-21 01:39:14]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Ocean Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 03:37:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I like it. It has a lot of atmosphere that's well-captured. It is just a little wordy, though; there are some non-important words which should go. The line 'where we’ve never been to' doesn't need the to, and a few other lines likewise could be structured a little sparser, so that more impact is saved for the most crucial images and words.

Also the last line is just a little long, when it seems to me it should capture a briefer, more fading sense. Mayhap just 'as I drift alone...'

Well, I'm the analytical one tonight. But this is a fine piece. Do keep it up.

Andrew


Re: Ocean Waves (User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on Sunday, 21st January 2007 @ 09:24:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I dig it as well it has a steel dream meets ukulele quality that sends me a drift toward sunset.

Good Job

Peace
Yangdantien




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