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Array ( [sid] => 130666 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The girl who loved the sun [time] => 2007-01-17 18:58:02 [hometext] => [bodytext] => She loved the sun more than anyone else
on cloudy days she mourned for him
and missed his glowing touch
the sun also loved this girl
the girl who longed for his rays
he was careful not turn her
nor blind her with his light

but why would the sun love this girl?
this girl who mourned all rain
when he could love another star
for a star and the sun are the same
so to please the crowd
the sun fell for another star

even though the girl
still loved him from a far.
out of jelousy
she tore her heart in two
she left her skin a glowing white
and left her lover
for the night


[comments] => 4 [counter] => 202 [topic] => 22 [informant] => ipanema_gal [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
The girl who loved the sun

Contributed by ipanema_gal on Wednesday, 17th January 2007 @ 06:58:02 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove



She loved the sun more than anyone else
on cloudy days she mourned for him
and missed his glowing touch
the sun also loved this girl
the girl who longed for his rays
he was careful not turn her
nor blind her with his light

but why would the sun love this girl?
this girl who mourned all rain
when he could love another star
for a star and the sun are the same
so to please the crowd
the sun fell for another star

even though the girl
still loved him from a far.
out of jelousy
she tore her heart in two
she left her skin a glowing white
and left her lover
for the night






Copyright © ipanema_gal ... [ 2007-01-17 18:58:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The girl who loved the sun (User Rating: 1 )
by SmileSkinDeep on Wednesday, 17th January 2007 @ 07:02:08 PM AEST
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I really like this one....It lets your mind wander about who but it gives enough detail for a picture. Well-written in my opinion


Re: The girl who loved the sun (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Wednesday, 17th January 2007 @ 07:08:06 PM AEST
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very creative write and very well expressed.. awesome job

Vampyress jenni


Re: The girl who loved the sun (User Rating: 1 )
by Balmain_Tiger on Wednesday, 17th January 2007 @ 09:22:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
torn in two never to be whole again. the scars may remain but never let healing wane


Re: The girl who loved the sun (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Wednesday, 17th January 2007 @ 09:52:54 PM AEST
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Nicely imagined. This is good, but it feels rather short, especially since the largest stanza is largely setup. A little more in the middle, before the line 'the sun fell for another star' would be good (though I can't think of what, exactly, should be there).

Good work, though. Keep writing.

Andrew




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