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Array
(
[sid] => 130401
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Pep Talk To My Soul
[time] => 2007-01-11 15:54:57
[hometext] => This is the usual mind against body thing. Common sense reminds me I'm an idiot for using, but my body still craves the sweet tastes.
[bodytext] => I see you in the hall and you smile You come up behind me and give me a hug Yet another once of you asks about my classes. But still I wonder, do you know, do you want to? When you’re out of hearing, what do you say? Do you really want to be my friend or are you hiding, Using a facade to protect me from knowing the truth, The fact that you don’t know how to tell me but... You hate my guts and wish I would die. When I look at you, I see a person still holding on Even though life has trampled you into what others see. They see the dark clothing, and brooding, scowling expressions. Few people see the bruises from your “special someone”. Even fewer see the hazed and shifty look in your eyes. The desire for something, anything, to take to escape. Synthetic, natural, sniffed, injected, smoked, inhaled, Any method would work, you don’t care anymore, You’re too despondent and alone inside to care. You want it, need it, you think you’ll die without it. As I look at you I think, “how sad, how awful, Does no one love them? Don’t they know illegal isn’t the way?” I smile at you and your mouth smiles back, but not your eyes. The world hurts so much, you need something to bear it. Even though you know it isn’t the way, You still down the pills, heat spoons and roll smokes. Even though the shrink says, “you’ll be ok, Anti-depressants and a loving group of friends, That’s all you need to feel normal again.” I still see everything bottled up inside, showing in your eyes; The only part of you not masked and locked away. Why the drugs and suicidal thoughts, is life that bad? When you want to get intoxicated or die, Just remember you’ve got someone who loves you. Someone, somewhere, loves you and cares for you. Every time you get high, you hurt them deeply. Whenever you then allow another’s arms to hold you, You hurt not just him, but me and all who care. I hate when you drink too much and kiss him, He’s not your boyfriend, he’s just using you. The tears your man cries for you are because he cares. He doesn’t want you to die, he just wants to hold you, Never let you go for fear of what you’ll do to yourself. You blow off his love thinking no one really loves you. But when I look at your soul through your eyes, I see how much you love him, how much you need him. The drugs give you an escape from the truth, You know how much you hurt him and disappoint him. Everyone wants you to quit, save what you still have. But what’s the point in living anymore? Isn’t the boy who holds your hand and listens to you, Who hasn’t left your side through rough times, Isn’t he worth at least trying to live a clean life? For every illegal thing you do, there is a consequence, The one you fear most is losing him and his love. You shift you gaze away when I tell you this. Is the overwhelming knowledge that he still cares push you, Does it hurt, does it drive you towards the drugs? Do you feel you can’t be who he needs? Is the pain of knowing one day he’ll give up, Does that make you guilty and in need of an escape? But is he the only source of your pain? Or are there other guilts you’re trying to drown as well? The harden look, but with sad eyes confirms that. Pain fills your heart and turns you against all things. Only you know the horrible things you’ve done, The way you’ve treated others like dirt. No one should have you, not after how you’ve acted. So you feel guilty for being so cold, for being evil incarnate. Guilty for existing to cause pain and sadness, Yet you still smile at me when I look at you. But you cannot hide the truth from me. I know your heart end soul, for I am your heart and soul. I am trying to help you and rescue you, Spare you from your self-inflicted pain. The only thing standing in your way of accepting help, Is your mind and your fear. Eventually your will realize drinking and drugs aren’t the way. Although the pain will never leave you, you can handle it. It will be easier if you quit the drugs and put down the bottle. So what that you aren’t pretty or popular, Or if the brain you use is different from everyone else. You can still be loved and successful But only if you stop poisoning your body. You think you feel guilty now, what about in a few years, When you’ve ruined your life and the lives around you? So put down the joint and look me in the eye, I only want what is best for you. Ultimately only you can change and turn away from your habits. Stop what you are doing, be who you want to be. Look at my eyes and know I am your soul. Listen to me, you have so much to offer! Please listen to me, hear my voice whispering from within, I am your heart and your soul, let me help you. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 66 [informant] => Munchkin [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => drugabuse )
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