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Array
(
[sid] => 129966
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Trapped inside my thoughts
[time] => 2006-12-30 18:38:55
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I know there is life outside these walls, I`ve seen it once before If only I could figure out what keeps me trapped behind this door Is it my self-esteem and depression that keeps me locked in this place? Or is it my insecurities and fear that I just don`t want to face? One minute I am strong, then the next I am weak One minute life seems grand, then the next minute bleak I look out my window, and do you know what I see? People passing me by, living happy and free And what am I doing? Nothing but the same old thing Each and every night it is the same routine It seems like my day consists of dwelling on how pathetic I have become And before I know it the day is over, and I didn`t get anything done I know what I want, and I know where I want to be But I feel like inside there is something wrong with me One minute I am laughing and joking around Then the next minute I am sad, and don`t want to make a sound Then I start to feel anxious, and I feel like I can`t breathe And it`s confusing and frustrating that these feelings won`t leave I want to snap out of it and come to my senses Before I am put away in a place with barb wired fences But I feel I have no control over the emotions I feel And I don`t know what is wrong, therefore, I don`t know what to heal And once again I feel overwhelmed so I just lay here and cry Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to try [comments] => 1 [counter] => 273 [topic] => 13 [informant] => babylugz [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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