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Array
(
[sid] => 129244
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => pretending to be happy doesn't make the pain fade.
[time] => 2006-12-10 16:52:35
[hometext] => kind of like the story of many peoples' life.
[bodytext] => she walks around each day smiling, laughing - pretending. “Will it be like this forever?” She hears the screams of rage again “i hate you” “well ***** you then” “will they stay together?” Confused about the world around why does daddy love to bring mom down? “does he really love her?” hating life and craving death holding on only because suicides a sin “god, don’t you see me here?” wanting more, getting less in these years, you’re supposed to feel blessed “why can’t i feel his love?” Faced with the same decisions everyday drugs and alcohol are (said to be) not okay “but is it fine to try once?” knowing she’s alive but feeling dead hands are blue, face is red “why do I feel so numb?” Laughing through blinding tears wishing someone would see her here “Am i truly alone?” feeling abandoned by everyone lost in memories that leave her stunned “does everybody feel this pain?” Questions linger in the air hear my whispers, do you care? does anybody see me crying? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 199 [topic] => 48 [informant] => tearstained_soul [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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