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Less than perfect

Contributed by spike on Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 03:16:19 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles






she wakes, wakes to nightmares tending
fears and dark thoughts never-ending
always there in slumber’s keeping,
to draw her from her rest

she tries, tries so hard to be good
like her mama said she could-should,
but the worms in the rosewood
Seem to spoil all her dreams

she sees, sees in colours splendid,
her mind focussed and transcended
but many times the world is rendered
in sombre shades of grey

now she hopes, hopes the good times
will wash away all of her crimes
and let her bask in warmer climes,
before the cold returns.




Copyright © spike ... [ 2006-12-10 03:16:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by Errious on Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 06:33:16 AM AEST
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Fantastic poem. Well done. Cool flow and contraversial rhyme.
Well Done.
Tom


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by eazy6886 on Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 10:52:47 AM AEST
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Very nice writing. Like mentioned before got a good flow to it. GOOD STUFF:)


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 04:06:07 PM AEST
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I love the repeat of the first of each stanza and the beautiful flow of it.

MIchelle


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Sunday, 10th December 2006 @ 09:00:21 PM AEST
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wow i like the flow of this and the approach you took.. I enjoyed this piece alot thanks for sharing

JENNI


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on Wednesday, 13th December 2006 @ 06:40:30 PM AEST
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Your fantastic poetry reflects the amazing poet that you are. Your work is always a pleasure to read. I'm so sorry that I have fallen behind on reading all of your brilliant poetry my dear friend. Hey I'm doing some catching up now :-)
Keep up the great work my dear fellow aussie poet & friend~
love n hugs from ur fan/friend,
eternal, infinite_dreamer


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 27th December 2006 @ 08:56:01 PM AEST
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My dearest poet~

I am tempted to make reference here to the battles within ourselves
to always strive for the greater good. The emotion and provocation
of thought this promotes is overwhelming .. and has left
me pondering my very own choices in life ..

Do we ever know ? Does fate truly have all the cards ? Are we just
victims of her deal ? Or do we possess freedoms we just sometimes
choose to ignore. And then make excuses for our crimes ... like
we had no choices at all ..

good grief, dear poet. You have accomplished the amazing
with this write . I am in a myriad of thoughts and ponderings ... a feat that
is achieved by very few ..

Exceptional write, S. Truly ~

~Breezy


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by priss on Saturday, 30th December 2006 @ 08:17:03 PM AEST
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so beautiful, Spike. i keep reading it over and over (especially the third verse-its my favorite!) i absolutely love it.


Re: Less than perfect (User Rating: 1 )
by Nirvana12 on Friday, 9th February 2007 @ 01:13:02 AM AEST
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I like this even better than the first one I read, you are very talented and I hope you never stop writing.




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