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Array
(
[sid] => 128925
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => why wasn't i good enough to help you stop?
[time] => 2006-12-01 15:33:40
[hometext] => dedicated to - mom and billy on there drug addiction and getting through it
[bodytext] => my voice is sore from screaming though i havent made a sound my heart is sore from bleeding why do you keep pushing it around? everyday i wonder why i wasn't good enough to help you fight addiction but Ally? she ws? why is her happiness important and ours, nothing compared to yours? why is she the sunshine in this darkend life of yours? what lives inside of her that gave you so much strength that your other children do not carry? she swims.... we already sank. how could you wait until OUR pain is irreverable to decide that you love us more than drugs? or maybe you didn't maybe it was only HER helped you through my voice is sore from screaming though i havent made a sound my heart is sore from bleeding why do you keep pushing it around? you know... i wake up every morning knowing i was never enough for you i lie in bed at night wondering what i did to deserve all of this while you guys PRAISE yourselves for getting through it whitch is good but it's too LATE you were responsible for the lives of 5 kids and you only saved one. How does it feel to abadon your children? yes, i understand it wasn't PHYSICAL abandoning but you abondoned our souls, our laugh we can't find them now.... AND you have the NERVE to tell us that ALLY is why you quit another burdon on our shoulders another thing to brind us down my voice is sore from screaming though i havent made a sound my heart is sore from bleeding why do you keep pushing it around? how does it feel to know you contributed to thoughts of suicide while you were high coke and crack you were ruining my life did you keep count on how many times we got evicted? how many times i changed schools? i did - 10! ten schools in ten years of education all so you can get high dont think i'm not proud that you gave it up without rehab but i'm pretty upset that you had all of us but only one was good enough... [comments] => 3 [counter] => 230 [topic] => 66 [informant] => tearstained_soul [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => drugabuse )
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