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Array
(
[sid] => 128676
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Check it - one two
[time] => 2006-11-25 19:17:22
[hometext] => (sLam pOetry always soothes My soul. Please give me feedback)
[bodytext] => so this counselor was hustling a quick fix by court order still broken I bought it, 21 and a buck in my wallet with hope's phone number still memorized I wasn't ready yet to empty my pockets my blood is strong living on through me only deepening this hate I got, a uniform genius by the look of things a born liar a walking start a wondering eye two keys no need for a car, I could change things, it's in my blood yet I can't kick this broken heart, this isn't what you see just the remains how hollow can a woman be depending on the scar don't let her be the judge never did see the signs, counselor I believe and it's not misplaced, her true colors bled from her eyes some say that type of cold is hereditary never did see the signs, I remember my father's beatings and this man with no home spoke two audible words one being Godspeed reaching out to my youth, wisdom forced in the gutter she found another lover now hate loves me, I heard this story gave it a second thought caught a bus and had the day play it out for free, there were these three bad *** kids two missed opportunities and one pretty little girl in pink she reminded me of my own and I smiled, sprinkled in was my music the story it became a poem the climax; stop fourteen, it's building; stops seven, ten, and a cream colored girl on eleven I dreamed her touch she smelled like beaches and tasted guilty, I awoke to my sudden stop court papers in hand forget conformity forget a job forget that girl who dragged me into obscurity nearly claiming everything that makes me that version of "I" that catches yours, or used to it's been a while, there is never a quick fix when addiction controls the mind, 12 baby steps towards hope are easier with a chaser, counselor it's true, not memories of my child not angry beats on revolutionary drums not sex not dope not you or that song check it - one two- check it - one or that femaile I will never forget, the globe will keep spinning no doubt and that poem hit me in ways your words could never do huster of quick fixes, focused on breathing I can kick this disease, fearful of being alone a work in progress only half way home from the brains venus fly trap, now a survivor in my stories counselor I'll go slow I thought I'd start with this saccharine girl I met on the bus careful not to puke, I thought I'd tell her about this poem I uncovered and our sessions and how spirinkled in with my music it saved my life, free of the addiction to disillusionment and hateful hateful women, counselor, counselor I'm saved tell the judge blessed give me a chip graduate of hell court ordered prince my God like a virgin I'm oozing purity sobriety so clean it makes me itch, I've lost track of time, music clouds alone now the poem I forget walking the streets a wondering eye a bad habit, monogamy slips an empty glass a subconscious relapse, God's guilty pleasure at birth from burnt lips spreads through abused lungs releases fake absolution from the past into my welcoming brain out through my eyes as this disease of the mind infects the reality my soul is at war with this disease, short skirts and smeared lipstick infects the reality, a passionate kiss my soul is at war she never loved me not that she ever could, removed from my counselors gaze endorphins override self-respect, I want a fix a sacrilege of this one chick who is bad like a ***********r she hates me though she likes the same music, I forgot where I was going with this... maybe I'll turn up my headset and see if she likes Atmosphere's version, check it - one two - check it one - check it .... [comments] => 3 [counter] => 312 [topic] => 66 [informant] => ClancyExistential [notes] => Mod 9 11/26/06 Bleep words. Please bleep the whole word. Thanks [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => drugabuse )
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