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Rubrics Squared

Contributed by yangdantien on Saturday, 25th November 2006 @ 03:12:21 PM in AEST
Topic: abstract






The boxes crease has a voice
straight un-crinkled furrow
of precision, shrill with decision.

Created to detect usage,
stacked under the bed
were flats tied in red tape
that whispered 'test the trust.'

Each day before work one box was fashioned
paper cut stain marks and sacred items placed
as proof against tampering.

Upon return, the carton was
inspected thoroughly, for the hours,
as any who might invade the boundary
of privacy would leave tracks.

The sheer noise to invest
all myself on the fact
that someone might transgress
is simply the thing to live for
here on the ward.




AJPIII






Copyright © yangdantien ... [ 2006-11-25 15:12:21]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Rubrics Squared (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Saturday, 25th November 2006 @ 04:40:40 PM AEST
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A deep write my friend.

Michelle


Re: Rubrics Squared (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Sunday, 26th November 2006 @ 01:41:52 PM AEST
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Are we housed in the same place, man? Very interesting write. Had me a few places in my mind. Loved it.
Peace and hugs,
Laura


Re: Rubrics Squared (User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on Monday, 27th November 2006 @ 12:28:23 AM AEST
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Dearest fellow poet & special friend, AJ~

I have come to enjoy your work so much.
The depth, detail and quality of your work
is extraordinary. You have the natural
ability to evoke all sorts of emotions into your
readers head. On a number of occasions I have been left speechless after reading your remarkable work.
Your above ascribed work piece took my mind to alot of places. Your wonderful work
always stirs deep emotions within me my dear friend.
You have such a flare with a pen~ May it always flow with such outstanding masterpieces~
Shine on AJ~
Wishing you joy & happiness always.
love, hugs n prayers from ur fan/friend,
sue m


Re: Rubrics Squared (User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on Thursday, 30th November 2006 @ 02:51:29 PM AEST
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I hate to be unoriginal...but, I tip my hat to, Eternal dreamer, as I find myself unable to say it better...Shine on Brother Yang!

BigLoveMuchPeace,
We


Re: Rubrics Squared (User Rating: 1 )
by feralpen on Monday, 19th February 2007 @ 05:47:30 PM AEST
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Your attention to detail and tantilizing fashion of conveying it to the reader are not like, but equal to works such as those by A. Conan Doyle and Ian Flemming. I believe you see with the 'third eye'. But even that is not enough, one must be able to present their visions, you do it exquisitly.


Re: Rubrics Squared (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 14th March 2007 @ 07:59:07 PM AEST
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AJ ... you do the brain harm, man! lol [I kid]

Always your writes stir me to think, (and think long and hard), but
I believe I have a handle on at least what this one says to me.
That third stanza is relevant to my own self-doubt and fear ..

Forgive if I am not reading this in the sense you meant ,
but to me, a poem is open to any and all interpretation the
reader feels can make a better understanding of his or her
own psyche/ place in this world.
(yup .. I went there :P)

Your own mind is a vault of knowledge, interpretation and
wonder, my friend. You have a knack for turning thought
inside out!! Great post!

~Breezy





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