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Array
(
[sid] => 128508
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => secrets and lies.
[time] => 2006-11-21 11:30:22
[hometext] => a poem i wrote a while ago that needs work and it somehow got forgotten..but here it is..
[bodytext] => another day of conformity another day of nothingness another day of ignorance another day of pain seems like noone understands more likely noone cares everyone is blind even the ones you love but what can you do about it? it isn't like you let on you don't come right out and say, hey, i'm hurting and i don't know why.... another day of hiding out another painted smile another exciting day gone by in the life of me but, i'm happy thats what you all think i'm ok, not on the brink of losing controle i'm still breathing, i must be alive.... It gets harder each day that goes by feeling numb to everything except pain pretending to be happy and excited when you know that is what they expect when and where do you break the news? who can you trust with the truth that is you? who is most likely to know what to do? who can you tell when you wanna break free? how do you do that when you are set in your ways? how do you go about removing the mask? for now we will just keep it the same it seems to be working aside from the pain keep quiet and all will be fine do not look up keep your head down whatever you do don't look them in the eyes they might see that tear about to roll down.... scream it, yell it, but only in your head they won't understand, it's not worth the time they will be confused, and call you insane you are safe in your shell, don't break it... now is not the time for this put it away give it more time to brew hold everything in, and it will all be ok.... stretch the smile wider, paint over it again the brighter the paint the more convincing the game... [comments] => 7 [counter] => 629 [topic] => 43 [informant] => purplestary [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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