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Motel Paint
Contributed by
deadheadpoet
on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 12:06:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
hbadday
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Claustrophobic
Entombed within this room
this box of gloom
Chained with paper
view has turned from vibrant green
to brown with shadows
Passing back and forth
Then you come with final packing
Plastic seal
temporarily you say
Locked in
Caged animal
with need for
run and freedom
My mind paces
back and forth
Your machine starts
with it's screeching nails
on the chalkboard
scratching sound
deafening my membranes
ripping at this already
torn and tortured soul
Cannot tolerate this pollution
of sound in my space
Droning for eons it seems
spreading the hue on wood
the stench which
seeps under my door
All my senses inundated
by this
motel paint
the room becomes
Immuring...
11-01-06
Laura Horner
*The motel where we are staying, in San Diego, decided to paint the exterior of the building. Taping all the windows with paper and the doors with plastic...and they say, "We're so sorry for the inconvenience." Grrrrrrr*
Copyright ©
deadheadpoet
... [
2006-11-02 12:06:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 01:18:19 PM AEST
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Every silver linings got a touch of grey...
I've been there,babez,good write.Right on...write on...
BigLoveMuchPeace,
MisfitMe |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 02:26:24 PM AEST
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I loved the description in this! No wonder you had a migrane! Hope the fumes dont make you la la lol.
Michelle |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 05:42:46 PM AEST
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I don't mind noise as a general rule... but absolutely do prefer to be able to choose when I subject myself to it. Given your description here, I'd be inclined to believe that I'd be either 1) miserable or 2) looking for another hotel.
Hang in there, sweetie! It could be worse --- you could be out of paper!!! THAT would be tragic!!! O.o
~Snem |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 07:17:40 PM AEST
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Oh you poor thing.
I'm clostaphobic too.
Guess you couldn't even watch t.v. with all that noise.
Great writing, my friend.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 3rd November 2006 @ 02:55:09 PM AEST
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you wanna go to that motel owners home and toilet paper it! believe it or not I didn't know what toilet papering was till i went stateside, the years of mischief I've missed out on! cool poem Laure great word usage.
J. |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Saturday, 4th November 2006 @ 01:50:27 AM AEST
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Ahh I feel ya there. Your write is tight and filled with language hinges to emotion. So effectively descriptive... the fumes are toxic making the situation liverish, scratchy thorats on top of the entombed chamber... Ghastly... You guys alright? They should comp ur stay at another place fer hecks sake... Are they a chain or a mom and pop? Now ya done it I;m up in arms lets call city hall there has to be a law on poisoning your patrons with paint fumes.
This piece got my goat scraped and primed.
Peace and Fresh Air
AJPIII |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 4th November 2006 @ 09:14:54 PM AEST
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Aw Laura .. I'm so sorry I've been away from the site
for a bit. (Missed your work)
Tormenting as this piece is, I find a quiet solace in
knowing you must have found a release in writing it.
For me, emotions are far worse when we can seek
no absolution. Even just seeking it, somehow makes
them less of a threat, no?
Exceptional word usage here, hun. Excruciatingly emotive!!
*hugs*
~MG |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Tuesday, 7th November 2006 @ 02:06:45 AM AEST
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wow what a drag
no wonder you got a migrain
lol good write
hugs |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th November 2006 @ 01:08:21 AM AEST
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I like how you have stretched an experience through subtle wisps for words.
A pinky-red expression.
Gentle and fierce...like passive-aggression.
This appeals to me greatly.
My eyes are drawn to gentle obscurities like...
"Chained with paper"...
Thank you for sharing with us,
Natalie.
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Thursday, 16th November 2006 @ 11:04:24 PM AEST
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inconvenience they say?? ..lol
..well I guess new paint is needed every now and again - though they might find a more tenant-friendly solution, other than masking you all in like that..
geart post*
B |
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Re: Motel Paint
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th December 2006 @ 09:40:41 AM AEST
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Fantastically expressive write of the situation. And "Grrrrr" sums it all up so precisely! What a touch. Hope your still plannin' on droppin' by my place on your way home, unless you're already back in Mizoo. I'd love to show the the farthest thing from claustrophobia, an infinity of paradise here in the Zuni Mountains! Great write, Laura!
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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