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Array ( [sid] => 127006 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => False [time] => 2006-10-16 16:03:15 [hometext] => I sat down to write, stared at the screen for about 2 minutes, then this came out. [bodytext] => False aspirations
Lead my inspirations
As I strive for what I don't need
Yet desperate to succeed

Even with an empty win
Light washes over the darkness within
Numbing my sense of pain
Giving the illusion of gain

Sad truth is I'm no further than I started
Probably fell behind because I'm so guarded
Spiraling down toward the end of time
Disillusionment is my last crime... [comments] => 7 [counter] => 359 [topic] => 61 [informant] => poetichybrid [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

False

Contributed by poetichybrid on Monday, 16th October 2006 @ 04:03:15 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

False aspirations
Lead my inspirations
As I strive for what I don't need
Yet desperate to succeed

Even with an empty win
Light washes over the darkness within
Numbing my sense of pain
Giving the illusion of gain

Sad truth is I'm no further than I started
Probably fell behind because I'm so guarded
Spiraling down toward the end of time
Disillusionment is my last crime...

Copyright © poetichybrid ... [ 2006-10-16 16:03:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by ever1der on Monday, 16th October 2006 @ 04:31:32 PM AEST
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wow..for a 2 minute thought process this is really something.

Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by aloneinthememory on Monday, 16th October 2006 @ 06:15:12 PM AEST
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Wow, it only took you 2 min? This is really good. It sounds like it would have taken longer. Love it. Fits a lot of thought into a short poem. Very good.

Fox

Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by EddieDean on Tuesday, 17th October 2006 @ 11:58:47 AM AEST
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Wow man, nice write, full of emotion. Even though it only took 2 minutes to write, its a good piece of work. Keep it up my friend, nicely done.

Eddie Dean

Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on Tuesday, 17th October 2006 @ 08:33:05 PM AEST
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I like this one. The last stanza is very good and sums it up very nicely. Sometimes it's better to just get up and forgo the comfort.
You never know - you may come across the greatest thing ever, just by stepping out the house. Life's too limited... But I guess you know all this!
Nice write!

- Tim

Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by SerenePsycho on Wednesday, 18th October 2006 @ 09:10:57 PM AEST
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Come on man. It took you a whole two minutes to come up with this. You must have been distracted. LOL. I like this one, although the first two lines bother me. I was curious when you told me that you rhymed with aspirations. It's not awful, but it's far enough off that it makes me *blink* *blink*. Otherwise, really nice.

Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by MandiLee on Saturday, 4th November 2006 @ 09:40:42 AM AEST
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wat a beautiful poem! your an amazing poet its really really good and if you need someone to talk to don't be afraid to email me w0nderw0man182@hotmail.com

Re: False (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Wednesday, 2nd May 2007 @ 04:18:44 AM AEST
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beautiful expression of feelings whilst ruminating with your muse:)

love n' hugs nessa

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