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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 16:47:44 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 126056
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Dumb comedy
[time] => 2006-09-21 19:38:45
[hometext] => Yeah... I was drinking, and probably not enough
[bodytext] => Everything I do Is all about funny I’ve sent jokes to Mad TV SNL, and Martha Stewart I’m not sure about the Stewart thing I just did it Maybe she could make a nice Joke pie out of it… I don’t know So I’m walking along And I see a crane, at least I thought so Now they tell me they’re Herrings So what? It’s a freggin bird At least I knew that! Christ! Give me a break! So, a priest walks into an underage bar No, sorry, I’m not going there So I went to the Registry the other day Why? Good question… I was seeking an insanity permit. You don’t actually have to get one there Just waiting in line gives you one But it still cost you hours…. So make sure you bring some (and three forms of ID) So finally it happened to me I fell in love with a man the other day Unfortunately, I’m a man too So it didn’t work out Turns out he was gay Unfortunately, I’m not Yeah, it rained yesterday… Thank God I wasn’t there And what’s with these hurricane names? Can you IMAGINE how you’d feel, if you were 8 years old And your name was Katrina? Damn! I don’t remember doing that! But I’m sorry anyway… Thank God My Step Dad doesn’t beat me Or I’d be completely screwed up for life So…. How’s your socks? I know I have problems with those Maybe if I’d just wear them on my feet, I’d be okay Maybe… I had a hot dog the other day… It wasn’t very good It was furry, and chewy Turns out, it was a Labrador… Rough break for him My Mom put me in a baseball bat induced comma once Now, I don’t blame her for that I mean Ordinarily I wouldn’t But I was 48 at the time… So that was a bit unusual Okay, I’m done… Sort of….. I went to an Ice cream stand the other day I found out it only STANDS for a little while (The Ice Cream) Except in winter, but they’re not open then So I thought, “why not?” So I’m going to open one come December… I think my cat has a speech impediment But it’s hard to be sure I had a tank of anorexic fish once It was so hard not feeding them, and watching them die But at least they were inexpensive I bought that “oxy cotton” so I could get the stains out of my rugs But they hired a lawyer, and it’s become quite complicated Yeah… Some things just don’t work out I ended up settling They got half the house, and my car I don’t see what a stain can do with a car, but there’s American justice for you At least I got custody of the rugs The stains get supervised visits though So what’s with the price of gas? Used to cost one can of beans Now it’s 3 tacos, one burrito, AND a can of beans (unless you consolidate and get the bean Burrito) Used to be, you could just pull my finger…. Those days are long gone All right, I have to go now I need to go sell my inheritance Is anyone here interested in a broken down pop-up? (Comes with a mobile shopping cart…. Last I saw it was filled with aluminum cans…) Oh, and oh yeah! I almost forgot about this Golf is hard, and stupid Just wanted to clear that up Okay, I think I’ll get back on my medication now…. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 185 [topic] => 43 [informant] => twbanter [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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