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Array
(
[sid] => 124879
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Five Minutes ('til Now)
[time] => 2006-08-25 01:12:06
[hometext] => *** The myriad of thoughts that I alluded to the other day... (there is no right category for this and no possible way I could have said this then... and so it's here, like this) ***
[bodytext] =>
I was…
Surprised…
to the extent that words failed me then
as I sat in silence, looking at you – feeling
raw and aching, yet determined, believing
nothing would ever really change
for you and I.
Thinking…
that you must have needed to, as you
had, grab hold of me then- stilling me, and
giving me no choice but to hear you,
see you, feel you – know – the reality
of you and I.
Moved…
for having this insistent, inner knowing
of the impulse, which was anything but
impulsive, that drove you, and then I,
headlong into a moment that swallowed
both you and I whole.
Wanting…
to reach for you then, not knowing
if you would have let me if you had known
that I was about to lay my hand upon you
as I had before – to bridge the gap
between you and I.
Needing…
to tell you that time doesn’t change all
things, only those incidental things
like routine and hair color, circumstance
and perspective – but never, not ever,
forever you and I.
And I… smiled
as I watched you walk away –
leaving me alone at the water's edge
with my tears, our love and the certainty that
everything would somehow be okay
for you and I.
[comments] => 10
[counter] => 328
[topic] => 48
[informant] => Silent-No-More
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 25
[ratings] => 5
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
Five Minutes ('til Now)
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Friday, 25th August 2006 @ 01:12:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I was…
Surprised…
to the extent that words failed me then
as I sat in silence, looking at you – feeling
raw and aching, yet determined, believing
nothing would ever really change
for you and I.
Thinking…
that you must have needed to, as you
had, grab hold of me then- stilling me, and
giving me no choice but to hear you,
see you, feel you – know – the reality
of you and I.
Moved…
for having this insistent, inner knowing
of the impulse, which was anything but
impulsive, that drove you, and then I,
headlong into a moment that swallowed
both you and I whole.
Wanting…
to reach for you then, not knowing
if you would have let me if you had known
that I was about to lay my hand upon you
as I had before – to bridge the gap
between you and I.
Needing…
to tell you that time doesn’t change all
things, only those incidental things
like routine and hair color, circumstance
and perspective – but never, not ever,
forever you and I.
And I… smiled
as I watched you walk away –
leaving me alone at the water's edge
with my tears, our love and the certainty that
everything would somehow be okay
for you and I.
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2006-08-25 01:12:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Wingz on
Friday, 25th August 2006 @ 02:23:32 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, that was beautifully written. I know those feelings all too well. Thank you very much for sharing. Please keep writing.
Krystal |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 25th August 2006 @ 05:59:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Well, I am happy for you that you could finally get it out there.....and how beautifully so. You always write with such finesse and powerful emotion. Very impressive imagery. You always bring such a vivid visual effect to your poetry.
Always impressed and never disappointed when I read a Silent-No-More masterpiece! ! !
Sincerely....really, sincerely,
Timbo
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 25th August 2006 @ 06:00:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Darn it, and I forgot to type I also love the title. |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by MidnightPunkCat on
Friday, 25th August 2006 @ 07:46:18 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I know how you feel in this particular peice of writing, the want of just to fix things but to know you cant change anything alone. You can't say the write words and you freeze up and your voice goes unheard. I felt as if I was actually in that situation because you wrote it so well. Please keep Writing. ~Krystal [kitty] |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 25th August 2006 @ 08:06:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Your poetic words never cease to amaze me. What a fantastic write. I find your words soothing and tender.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 26th August 2006 @ 12:07:32 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
You've really got a talent. This is amazingly beautiful Silent. So tender and emotive. Just that inner feeling of knowing, that no matter what things will be ok. I really really liked this. I'm glad I got the chance to read this. Elegant, Silent, I'm at a lack of words for it's description lol. But extremely beautifully written.
-Cassy |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by PHISHBATES on
Saturday, 26th August 2006 @ 12:19:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| I enjoyed this writing. Reminds me of the difficulties of knowing and exercising the fight or flee option |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 29th August 2006 @ 08:51:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh hun .. I have fallen into this .. I ADORE how you've
connected the stanzas with the repetition of you and I in
the last line of each. This is raw emotion, my friend and so
painfully beautiful. So few embrace all there is to life,
you know? Sad, really, because the more we feel, the more alive
we become!! God, how brilliant it is, JUST TO EXIST some days..
This is exceptional in conveying that thought, dearest poet.
~Breezy
(smiling... knowing snems knows ♥) |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Thursday, 31st August 2006 @ 02:37:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
What a vast range of emotions you've bestowed upon me through this, Snemblina....Whooda Thunket... the nickname fits you like a perfect pair of shoes.
Love and peace,
Chelsea/ Anita Huggenstuff |
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Re: Five Minutes ('til Now)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 7th September 2006 @ 02:25:37 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
A fine piece of work. It flows quite well, and I think that you've brought those myriad thoughts, as muddling as they can so often be, and also often pen-crippling, to a semblance of symmetry, enough to make this a plenty-coherent and artistic poem. Beautiful and emotive.
(oh, I do think the 'eluded' of the author's note would like to be 'alluded' instead. Sticklers like me, you know, we just have to "stickle" sometimes)
Andrew |
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