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Array
(
[sid] => 124214
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Release Me (from this Reality that Shouldn't Be)
[time] => 2006-08-08 10:03:35
[hometext] => I wonder where my life is going.....
[bodytext] =>    My eyes fix on the corners, thinking, this isn’t how it should be… I shouldn’t be on the linoleum, begging for a release that will never come…begging him to see me….begging him to say something I can understand. Sacrifice myself for the love of a thousands lives. Dying on that bathroom floor again….my body broken, bruised, and torn from the light. Close my eyes, but I can bring something else to mind, just moaning in his arms on that bathroom floor. Music I can’t understand blaring through the house, with a thousands things I want to say, but I can’t…I can only beg and let him in. I’ve fallen so far from what you wanted me to be. I want to say I’m sorry and I wish it hadn’t been this way. But I promise I’ll find you…I’ll find you if it kills me. Staring at a yellow ceiling, where’s the blue wall? Where’s the sky? Where’s the sea? My wings are broken and I’m still falling. Trying not to shake with the cigarette in my hand. Breathing in a death not far behind. I stare into his eyes, begging for a release, begging to see something that’s not where I am right now. I call to silver wolf, but he is running….and I’m alone…here in this dark forest. My sins… My blood… My darkness… Crammed on the inside, while he pours his life into me….I want release! I want to scream! I WANT TO SCREAM!!!! I want to hear my voice in all the walls. I want to cry and moan and beg and SCREAM!!! I want to run… I want… Release. Trapped in this body…no where to run. In the corner the wolf watches as I give it all away and now he owns me. This just isn’t how it should be. I promise I will find you…I promise…I promise… And I’m running in my mind, running from the reality….the reality that will find me again. I call out with my mind and tell you I’m alright. Just one more night… My eyes fix on something beautiful in my mind, so maybe it won’t hurt so much when he walks away and maybe I won’t always have to think that this isn’t really how it should be…. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 74 [informant] => MG_Akela22090 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => surreal )
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