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Array
(
[sid] => 124087
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Running (From the Unfound Answer)
[time] => 2006-08-04 12:39:56
[hometext] => Sometimes my decisions are too much to make...
[bodytext] =>  The answer is here, somewhere, in this place. In these papers. Stacks and stacks of memory….piled everywhere, how will I ever know? How will I ever see? Love is bled dry and I just can’t stand it anymore. My sorrow stains it all ugly. Crying tears of air for something I can’t control. It’s meant to end…it’s meant to be. I can’t see what’s happening. Just tell me…just tell me you love me. Just say it’s not the worst thing…. Won’t you save me? I can’t see…I can’t find what I look for. I can’t feel what I want to feel. I need….I need someone more than this. Words held back, because you won’t listen. Memory floods everything….killing away the future. Find the answer, it whispers, find the answer in all the papers…. Lost to the love that pierces my soul. Lost to the darkness inside these walls. Trapped by my own blindness, attacked by the wolves…trying to find the path. The path I strayed from so long ago. Drowning in the seas turned black. Colors flashing in front of me…colors bringing the chaos. You don’t know…you’ll never know and never see….the answer is somewhere within it…the darkness….the eyes of the wolf within me. I watch you through the walls of your house…disembodied…crying stars from my eyes. I feel lost and still yet, you can’t feel me…you can’t hear me screaming in your head. Right there in the dark corners…trying to make you hear me. I burn my diary, because I can’t remember that feeling….I burn the pages, because the answer is somewhere else….in my heart…in yours…in his…in theirs. I don’t see me in the mirror, just a wolf…just a hunger….just…. The answer…. I see you, but you are gone. I try to get you to hear me, but you’re so oblivious in your own pride. You want something I can never give…. It’s so beyond me, how you can be so blind. But now I’m almost dead….almost gone and you can’t ever know. Can’t you feel me fading on the inside? Can’t you feel my spirit breaking? Can’t you see, my eyes are broken and dull? Can’t you hear me crying? Can’t you feel how alone I am? A Bible at my bed…but there’s no answers there….just a hollow feeling deep inside me, and I know I have to run… I have to run And run And run And run Until there’s nothing left to run from. I have to bleed the poison from my skin, and try to forget that the answer is somewhere I may never find. Close my eyes and run from reality. I have to run… Run… And run… And run… Until there’s nothing left to run from. [comments] => 0 [counter] => 158 [topic] => 48 [informant] => MG_Akela22090 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
|
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