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Imagine
Contributed by
angel71
on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 03:40:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Close your eyes
and imagine me there
running my fingers
through your soft hair
down your neck
and across your back
licking and tasting
as though you were a snack
around to your chest
and all down your tummy
I'm going down further
you're feeling all funny
caressing your thighs
your knees, your toes
now slowly back up
I kiss your nose
the feel of our skin touching
drives me insane
its a sensation of
both pleasure and pain.
You take me now
with tenderness and care
I feel as though
I'm floating on air.
Finally we stop
spent and in awe
knowing that the future
will bring much, much more.
Copyright ©
angel71
... [
2003-02-10 03:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Imagine
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 05:00:37 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Mere discription does not carry the thrill of imagination ..it lacked excitement and deep feeling. |
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Re: Imagine
(User Rating: 1 )
by angel71 on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 05:57:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Fair enough, I appreciate your opinion. I am new to this so any tips that would help me improve are most welcome. Thanks for taking the time to comment. |
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Re: Imagine
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Monday, 10th February 2003 @ 06:34:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Dont worry about the other comment .. it may be your first effort but it is a good effort.. there is lot of tenderness and care through which you felt floating in the air.. It is a very clear picture. o.k but one thing i can advise you.. write what ever you truly felt in your heart.. automatically depth of feeling will be found in your heart..when you find some thrill in your feelings you just record them and make it a good poem..Venkat |
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