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Array
(
[sid] => 122881
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Footsteps
[time] => 2006-07-07 17:39:22
[hometext] => Honest opinions only, please.
[bodytext] => In defiance of the sun she cried,
With moonlight spilling from her eyes.
As beneath the dark and stormy sky,
She softly bade the world goodbye,
And gazing into raging sea,
Fell backward into waiting dreams.
And her sins were somehow washed away,
Cleansed from waters' violent spray,
And torn from skin by screaming wind,
She closed her eyes, and plunged straight in.
By silver gleam, through dying light,
She spread her arms, dove into night.
And as the waters swept her, broken,
On daylight drifted soft words spoken;
'...Remember me each time you see,
Footsteps fade into the Ocean...'
[comments] => 12
[counter] => 323
[topic] => 39
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 19
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Grief
)
Footsteps
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 05:39:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
In defiance of the sun she cried,
With moonlight spilling from her eyes.
As beneath the dark and stormy sky,
She softly bade the world goodbye,
And gazing into raging sea,
Fell backward into waiting dreams.
And her sins were somehow washed away,
Cleansed from waters' violent spray,
And torn from skin by screaming wind,
She closed her eyes, and plunged straight in.
By silver gleam, through dying light,
She spread her arms, dove into night.
And as the waters swept her, broken,
On daylight drifted soft words spoken;
'...Remember me each time you see,
Footsteps fade into the Ocean...'
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-07-07 17:39:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by randomguy on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 08:47:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Wow, very powerful stuff. I like it! I especially like the almost nostalgic ending to a tragic story. |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 08:57:53 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
good flow, imagery strong
Shari |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 7th July 2006 @ 10:17:01 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
very nicely done poem
As beneath the dark and stormy sky,
She softly bade the world goodbye,
And gazing into raging sea,
Fell backward into waiting dreams.
This part here is great very deep
takes alittle thought to get this good intelligence level on your poem i like it
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 01:17:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
i like it a lot..really good work!
wiz |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by girish on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 01:53:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
step into life
not into ocean
girish |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 04:18:07 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Phil~
The emotion poured into this is incredible.
I could just picture the whole thing as if she was standing in front of me. Very well expressed. I felt her pain and suffering through ur words. So sad though I felt like this a few years ago~
Well done dearest Phil you have done a fantastic job on this write.
love, hugs n prayers,
sue m |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 10:15:29 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow sweetie! I am impressed!! This one is so heartwrenching
and emotive. I feel it so deeply, hun. Each stanza builds on the
next and the emotion never wavers to the very last breath
of the piece. Incredible !!
Completely touched and ever humbled. Words could
nary express what this evoked within, hun. Truly.
*miss you*
*hugs you tons*
~Breezy |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 01:19:12 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Phyllis, this is awesomely sad and altogether beautiful all at the same time.
You are an incredible poetess. The imagery was breath taking in this one.
Tim
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 8th July 2006 @ 04:26:35 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Mesmorizing, Powerful, and strong emotions and imagery, I loved it and could relate
Hugs,
LG |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by sohangme on
Wednesday, 12th July 2006 @ 02:13:57 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Awesome poem. I loved it and the way you wrote it. |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Baronhawk on
Thursday, 20th July 2006 @ 08:45:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| There is a power here born of the duality of beauty and tragedy. The words, the writing, the arangement and the style is achingly beautiful and yet the direction they seem to point to depicts a lonely and heartfelt tragedy that you would almost want to reach out and scream "Don't!" and yet find yourself having to respect the beauty and dignity of the moment and watch the tragedy unfold silently... quietly...and then remember the day within your memories forever. ..."each time you see, footsteps fade into the ocean". I am torn between this two emotions. A heartfelt write my friend. |
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Re: Footsteps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 4th October 2008 @ 06:38:50 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I like the way it flows, the rhyme works very well in this piece.
As for the content....wow!.. very powerful and tragic, yes tragic is the perfect word.
I can so feel the pain and yet somehow too, the cleansing. |
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