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Array
(
[sid] => 122640
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Precisely Indecisive
[time] => 2006-07-02 11:04:48
[hometext] => The premise behind this is of a deep love between two people, yet their relationship is flawed--- perhaps to a degree that cannot be repaired.
[bodytext] => Folding shadows in secret crevices of the bay
sliver of a moon shines bleakly on moral decay
Cascading rays of a dilemma once born
symphony of fire rages its mourn
Crashing of the waves eagerly explore
a spiritual cleansing where nothing's restored
It shouts in syllables that are rendered unheard
circumstantial feeling bordering on absurd
Words sacrificed, but held in contempt
abruptly held liable for a dodged attempt
Speckled eyes gleam in foretelling tones
the voice lodged in her throat quietly bemoans
Whistling winds and whispering trees set the stage
for a theatrical finish to an old adage
Cloaked in iron-clad dignity, he rumbles
faced with the probability of eternity; both stumble
Clouds depart in hopes of a clearer sky
found is a diseased place where even dreams die
Softly creeping is the silence of then and now
mute indecision is the deafening of this vow.
[comments] => 14
[counter] => 444
[topic] => 22
[informant] => hauntedscorp
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 41
[ratings] => 9
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => LostLove
)
Precisely Indecisive
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 11:04:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Folding shadows in secret crevices of the bay
sliver of a moon shines bleakly on moral decay
Cascading rays of a dilemma once born
symphony of fire rages its mourn
Crashing of the waves eagerly explore
a spiritual cleansing where nothing's restored
It shouts in syllables that are rendered unheard
circumstantial feeling bordering on absurd
Words sacrificed, but held in contempt
abruptly held liable for a dodged attempt
Speckled eyes gleam in foretelling tones
the voice lodged in her throat quietly bemoans
Whistling winds and whispering trees set the stage
for a theatrical finish to an old adage
Cloaked in iron-clad dignity, he rumbles
faced with the probability of eternity; both stumble
Clouds depart in hopes of a clearer sky
found is a diseased place where even dreams die
Softly creeping is the silence of then and now
mute indecision is the deafening of this vow.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2006-07-02 11:04:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 11:28:39 AM AEST
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Okay scorperdoodle ... I felt this write deeply and perhaps I am not even reading it correctly, (as most poetry is so completely subjective to the reader and their emotional circumstances- past and present), BUT, it feels to me like two people who are holding back for whatever reason, [pride etc.], or can't find the words to express emotion .. and maybe are even frightened of what the future holds .. for each of them. So sad when love can not overcome such a fear ..
I've always been of the opinion that when two people love each other ... truly love each other .. their flaws (even within the relationship) are learning blocks. But we have to allow ourselves to be open to the lessons ..
A lot of pain and frustration in here, hun. An amazing piece.
~Breezy |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 11:28:45 AM AEST
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this speaks bounds to me...so beautifully done...you're awesome!!!
wiz
p.s. have i told you how good it is to see you posting again..lol |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kevin on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 02:46:00 PM AEST
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absolutely amazing. This is easily the best poem i've read in a long time. Keep up the amazing work and i'd love to read more in the future
-Kevin |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 10:04:19 PM AEST
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WOW Scorp.. the defining characteristics, as far as poetry: very well written - as always..
but the message behind the work is all but terrifying to me, in all its relevance -
beyond that, I'm speechless!
stunning.. EXQUISITE even~
Yours-
Billy |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 10:35:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Scorp~
My dear friend much lays behind the words that are written. Such sadness evokes from a love that for some reason cannot flourish and nurture like it should. If it truly is meant to be then it will find a way of working itself out.
A flawless piece of writing which speaks of two pained lovers. I wish things work out for the best hun. Sending you the warmest and best of wishes my dear friend always~
love, hugs n prayers,
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by godsangel2006 on
Sunday, 2nd July 2006 @ 11:45:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow Scorpy |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 12:51:12 AM AEST
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Great write Scorp. You wrote this so elegantly and so weighted with emotion. Beautiful piece.
Thanks for sharing. Peace, Laura |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 02:22:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, Scorperiffic!!!! This poem is absolutely awesome! ! !
The title, the metaphors, hopes, and dreams shattered. The emotion felt with every word and every line! Definitely, definitely, as the title suggests, Precisely Indecisive.
I certainly have missed your amazing writing and this is a perfect example why. |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 01:04:15 PM AEST
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Hmm, you always baffle me a little with your writes, Scorpy. You are a lot like Jarred in that respect ;)
Your poem seems somehow terrible, without hope. It's very sad. That last stanza is the clincher, really.
Anyway, great right,
*hugs*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by jyssvw22 on
Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 05:07:36 PM AEST
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I like this poem… if for no other reason then you put your heart into it…the lines that stand out for me are..” Words sacrificed, but held in contempt
abruptly held liable for a dodged attempt”
Well done scorps
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 18th July 2006 @ 01:59:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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The feelings and thoughts I sense behind this one make me want to curl up and hide somewhere..in tears.
Gosh I just dread something like this.
So very well expressed and felt....yes felt...sigh.. |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Tuesday, 15th May 2007 @ 12:01:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is a very deep and painful place to be as far as love and survival go. You have put into words what most couples can never sense is the real essence of their indifferance or inability to mesh. A fantastic piece of work my friend. Absolutely fantastic. |
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 12th February 2012 @ 02:51:45 PM AEST
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circumstantial feeling bordering on absurd
It's lines like this one that will inspire one to write.
Yep, I come back from time to time to read the poet known as PerfectoScorp.
Thoughts gather and mingle about...I be hatin' / lovin' those circumstantial feelings bordering on the absurd
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Re: Precisely Indecisive
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 30th May 2014 @ 01:31:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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~*:what everybody else said lol, *runs to her
thesaurus lost for words!* passionately penned,
honest heartfelt poetic lines, imagery Off the
Charts, favorite line the first Folding shadows in
secret crevices of the bay drew me right in like
an excellent novel... found is a diseased place
where even dreams die- sooo sad *sniff*... last
line omg, mute indecision is the deafening of
this vow. a masterpiece! a radiant breathtaking
magnificent piece you should take pride in:)
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->>--- |
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