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Array
(
[sid] => 122544
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => uncomfortably numb
[time] => 2006-06-30 05:50:33
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Uncomfortably Numb One hundred words I've written One thousand sounds I've uttered One million answers to but one billion questions I"ve asked... Many many years have passed, and I still feel the same alone, abandoned, afraid, baffled by one hundred thousand memories- But I am in a better place now I don't have to reminiss, but I do - often Remembering all but the pleasant days... My altered states of mind transcend all that is lovely or good into sorrow and regret. This world doesn't have an "outlook" to me it's just a blurr- everything- life- love- joy- pain- all my life I had looked and looked. But I've stopped looking, because now I'm seeing- seeing every guilt-tainted memory, every painful consequence, every dishonorable mistake, every bitter-sweet end. It's nothing- or it's something I no longer value. Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally- I've been robbed, and stripped bare then sent out to find shelter, somewhere... anywhere... out there... Yet I carry on and on and on I continue my struggle, I may find validation in things I shouldn't - like comparisons and dysfunction but I am not affected at all.. I am completely numb. The pain doesn't hurt anymore, The disappointment doesn't matter anymore, The confusion doesn't even confuse anymore. I am as hard as steal, and I am thankful, I'm thankful for everything I am NOT [comments] => 1 [counter] => 216 [topic] => 73 [informant] => poeteeza [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => abstract )
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