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Array
(
[sid] => 122314
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => State of Transition
[time] => 2006-06-26 02:36:43
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => ..for Kelly
Kindly I told myself a guest in your midst
that you were in a state of transition
between falling down and standing up
as my friends introduced me to you
on that early Friday evening-
a hurried get together I grant you..
and from my bower
eagle eyed with a greater power
your localities were restricted-
yet charity had its bounds-
eyes were after all, made to see
and sadly I saw you at your Friday's
worst..making that first afternoon of hopefullness
more of a grey burden with your encrusted scabs
and open weeping sores, oozing urban puterfication
mocking the far green magic of your words..
receding like a distant dream of another Summer..
away from you..
your chimney bravado, scraping and *skumming* the lies
of all your skies.. and in DUE time, Id come to know you.
Widowed buildings of once, a civic bloom..
huddled together like burnt out, battered old ladies,
happily enough in their dingy defeated camaraderie..
children scurring about.. lively lice
through the scalded maze of your streets-
Sabbatic factory smoke drawing on its own murky stoke
over your pockmarked pools of desolation..
your awful incongruity, charmed nonetheless by age;
steadfast.. untouched by faint stirrings of former grace.
I beheld you, save all your shabby metaphoric liniments..
and to my utmost chagrin, I felt tortuously at home.
[comments] => 9
[counter] => 202
[topic] => 74
[informant] => Man_On_High
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 30
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => surreal
)
State of Transition
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 02:36:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
surreal
|
..for Kelly
Kindly I told myself a guest in your midst
that you were in a state of transition
between falling down and standing up
as my friends introduced me to you
on that early Friday evening-
a hurried get together I grant you..
and from my bower
eagle eyed with a greater power
your localities were restricted-
yet charity had its bounds-
eyes were after all, made to see
and sadly I saw you at your Friday's
worst..making that first afternoon of hopefullness
more of a grey burden with your encrusted scabs
and open weeping sores, oozing urban puterfication
mocking the far green magic of your words..
receding like a distant dream of another Summer..
away from you..
your chimney bravado, scraping and *skumming* the lies
of all your skies.. and in DUE time, Id come to know you.
Widowed buildings of once, a civic bloom..
huddled together like burnt out, battered old ladies,
happily enough in their dingy defeated camaraderie..
children scurring about.. lively lice
through the scalded maze of your streets-
Sabbatic factory smoke drawing on its own murky stoke
over your pockmarked pools of desolation..
your awful incongruity, charmed nonetheless by age;
steadfast.. untouched by faint stirrings of former grace.
I beheld you, save all your shabby metaphoric liniments..
and to my utmost chagrin, I felt tortuously at home.
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2006-06-26 02:36:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 04:11:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very thought provoking write.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 10:18:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Billy, you blow me away with your awesome ability to paint pictures with colors most of us haven't ever even seen before. Bein' a simple cowboy type, I have to use the dictionary a lot to do some of my non-cowboy writes and I looked up what I thought should be a word description for your work but it wasn't there. What the heck, I'll make it up and use it to compliment your marvelous work. MOH, you exemplify
VIVIDITY!!! I could read this sucker over 'n' over and still want to read it some more for additional enjoyment. Thanks, Man.
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 11:15:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
That ending is powerful, and the way you put your words to work in this metaphoric piece is wonderful. You said quite a bit here, and rather creatively, I might add. Very well done!
Scorp. |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 11:21:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Billy, Great write. You indeed, had me lost in this piece. A joy to read. Peace, Laura |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 02:20:34 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I agree with Kenmore there
wow Billy your writing seems to get better and better each time i read it.
I am extremely impress |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Tuesday, 27th June 2006 @ 01:03:27 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
what beauty
I agree with Scorp.. the ending astoundingly powerful.
your poetry brings me such joy.
this is wonderful. |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 27th June 2006 @ 06:32:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Sweetest~ this is such an incredibly tortured piece; laden with a kind of hopeless sadness..
It is terribly unfortunate, the uncertainty that encompasses meetings and the
like.. even moreso when our inward struggle is magnified, (or even hindered by
surrounding circumstances or people .
Anyone who's known you, knows the meaning of "generosity of heart ".
Your charity and allowance touch more than you suspect, and in a way
that leaves the recipient changed forever ..
As I've said to you before, it is my firm conviction that everything happens for
a reason; a lesson; an insight; an inspiration.. I know how this happening
brought you more good than bad, hun. ..And that gain is priceless !!
as always, with love,
~Breezy |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 27th June 2006 @ 06:03:59 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Billy~
My dearest friend I felt ur pain and suffering through every word. Tears flooded my eyes for such sadness harbors in ur heart.
From the time I have known you have always given me hope, inspiartion, love and strength to go on and face this world. Your kindness comes from ur precious and beautiful loving heart. You have touched the lives of many around you and you still continue to do so.
Certain things happen in our lives for a reason. Only God knows why they do even though sometimes we question and doubt our creator on His decisions.
In no doubt you would have touched Kelly's heart like you have the rest of us.
I'm so sorry for all the hurt and pain u are enduring dearest Billy~ I wished them all away for u my dearest friend. Chin up sweetheart. I'm always here for you.
love always & forever
~*sue m*~ |
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Re: State of Transition
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 3rd July 2006 @ 11:51:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Only to well this write reveals the torment of
your soul pitted against the well established
cartell of scorned women who they in them selves revel in conspiracy to avenge there
most relentless of nemmisis, The first and
formost noticeable, age line .
Ben |
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