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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 13:39:14 AEST

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Array ( [sid] => 120989 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Going Under [time] => 2006-05-30 02:09:38 [hometext] => [bodytext] =>
I fall slowly
down into the hole
cause I'm crippled
with a broken soul
I try to do right
but everything is wrong
out is in and down is up
I just don't belong
ohhh
silently I scream
as a teardrop explodes
and i'm blown to bits
as I fade
I still hear the voices
moaning
oh yeah we like it like this...

[comments] => 6 [counter] => 187 [topic] => 61 [informant] => secretwind [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Going Under

Contributed by secretwind on Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 02:09:38 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

I fall slowly
down into the hole
cause I'm crippled
with a broken soul
I try to do right
but everything is wrong
out is in and down is up
I just don't belong
ohhh
silently I scream
as a teardrop explodes
and i'm blown to bits
as I fade
I still hear the voices
moaning
oh yeah we like it like this...

Copyright © secretwind ... [ 2006-05-30 02:09:38]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Going Under (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 02:30:50 AM AEST
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Breathe, just breathe.
Cheer up, I still luv ya, my friend.
luv, huggs,
emy

Re: Going Under (User Rating: 1 )
by Davinah on Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 04:01:11 AM AEST
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This is very well written! I like it a lot!

Re: Going Under (User Rating: 1 )
by spider on Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 07:01:39 AM AEST
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jesus, ok i dont know i this is actually about what it seems to be but that last line is harsh.
bloody powerful write, really great. i mean, every line is just amazing.
think i really like the rhymey sort of thing of bits and this, really finishes it well.

Re: Going Under (User Rating: 1 )
by Remi on Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 08:39:04 AM AEST
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end is nice, i like the way it ended overall it a great write as well

Re: Going Under (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 30th May 2006 @ 09:30:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very compelling poem got lost in it. nicely

presented.

Ben

Re: Going Under (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 13th June 2006 @ 05:19:52 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I see brevity and impacting thought lines as your allies in depicting an emotional ride on some roller-coaster moments. Enjoyed my time readin' the secretwind(s) of your soul. My compliments on some very good writing.

wabl
KenMoore
cowboy

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