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Array
(
[sid] => 120425
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => CONFUSED
[time] => 2006-05-20 11:55:08
[hometext] => DIS IS JUS BOUT ME WHEN I WAS CONFUSED N DEPRESSED
[bodytext] => CONFUSED im so confused and have been for a while now ppl say i shouldnt feel like dis cuz i have it good ive got good grades a home im playin ball which i wat i wanted i guess then why is it that every night when i go to bed i pray that i dont wake up the next mornin? why is it that if i have it so good i cry myself to slepp and every time i see sumthin sharp i wanna take it and cut again? im not understaning how it is that i can feel like this dont tell me its just sum kinda phase cuz i felt this way last year and sum of my friends like amanda lopez know how i was and kno tha ti neva wanna b like dat again but im headin down that road and i really dont know wat to do those that kno me kno that i wont talk to a counsler they kno that ill b uncomfordable and jus sit there and laugh! i need help mabye i have a mental disorder or somthin where i need medical help cuz nuthin else seems to help u can point out how good i have a million times and ill still pray that i wont wake up most ppl think that imms spoiled brot and that i have everything so easy when u dont even kno half of it why is it that when i have sooooooo many friends that i kno care i still feel so alone. why do i feel like every day i want to die when there is really no reason for me to feel like this. why do i fell like this i just wnat to b happy, no matter how hard i try i always end up feeling like this? i just wanna b happy or i want my life to b over i kno ppl say theres a reason god gave me life theres a reason im here wat if ive already accomplished that reason? idk wat to do ne more all i kno is that i think i need sum kinda help? [comments] => 0 [counter] => 158 [topic] => 72 [informant] => simmi [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => self-harmpoetry )
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