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Array
(
[sid] => 120004
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
[time] => 2006-05-13 16:39:20
[hometext] => Please keep in mind, that what I write about, I may not experience! Shucks Durn it anyway!
[bodytext] => SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
When I say "Senior," please don't take
me wrong!
I'm not talking about this kinda'
Senior, straight and strong!
I think it's only fair to relate
I was thinking more stuck and
sweet stalemate.
The following are the Ten Amendments
for the Senior's Constitution!
1. Always start by wearing your glasses,
then search the bed with your crutches,
Make sure your sweetheart is in the bed?
2. After locating her, set the timer for 3 minutes
incase you doze off in the middle, remember
always think ahead!
3. Get in the mood by leaving the lights
all on.....then before you undress,
Turn them all off for what you can't see
reduces stress!
4. Make sure you set 911 on your cell phone
before you begin.........
If you never have to call it, then you can grin!
5. Write your partner's name on your hand,
just incase you forget?
Knowing her name, can be quite an asset!
6. Keep extra polygrip close by, so your teeth
won't end up on the floor!
On second thought, teeth are expensive....
keep them in a drawer.
7. Keep the Tylenol handy in case you actually
complete the act.
Tylenol is good for sore muscles, and
that's a fact!
8. Make all the noise you want to
In a retired residency, your
neighbors are deaf
just like you!
9. If all goes well, and you're able,
Send to all your friends a "Good News"
Cable!
10. Don't even think about doing it twice..
You're both still alive, one time suffice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was an email
I added a few touches
of my own........
The poem I disown!
Created by
I dedicate this poem to my
loving boyfriend
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Everything that goes up must come down.
But there comes a time when not everything
that's down can come up."
~ George Burns ~
*Smile Returns*
[comments] => 14
[counter] => 896
[topic] => 7
[informant] => lovingcritters
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 26
[ratings] => 7
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => HumorPoetry
)
SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
Contributed by
lovingcritters
on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 04:39:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
HumorPoetry
|
SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
When I say "Senior," please don't take
me wrong!
I'm not talking about this kinda'
Senior, straight and strong!
I think it's only fair to relate
I was thinking more stuck and
sweet stalemate.
The following are the Ten Amendments
for the Senior's Constitution!
1. Always start by wearing your glasses,
then search the bed with your crutches,
Make sure your sweetheart is in the bed?
2. After locating her, set the timer for 3 minutes
incase you doze off in the middle, remember
always think ahead!
3. Get in the mood by leaving the lights
all on.....then before you undress,
Turn them all off for what you can't see
reduces stress!
4. Make sure you set 911 on your cell phone
before you begin.........
If you never have to call it, then you can grin!
5. Write your partner's name on your hand,
just incase you forget?
Knowing her name, can be quite an asset!
6. Keep extra polygrip close by, so your teeth
won't end up on the floor!
On second thought, teeth are expensive....
keep them in a drawer.
7. Keep the Tylenol handy in case you actually
complete the act.
Tylenol is good for sore muscles, and
that's a fact!
8. Make all the noise you want to
In a retired residency, your
neighbors are deaf
just like you!
9. If all goes well, and you're able,
Send to all your friends a "Good News"
Cable!
10. Don't even think about doing it twice..
You're both still alive, one time suffice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was an email
I added a few touches
of my own........
The poem I disown!
Created by
I dedicate this poem to my
loving boyfriend
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Everything that goes up must come down.
But there comes a time when not everything
that's down can come up."
~ George Burns ~
*Smile Returns*
Copyright ©
lovingcritters
... [
2006-05-13 16:39:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by palebluesun on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 05:14:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
ROFLMAO
Not really a poem but lotsa fun to read.Pictures are a great touch. |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by kaitee on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 05:38:57 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
lol made me laugh!
funny..(c:
~Kaitee |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by jay89 on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 05:45:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I love this poem .it is the best thing I've heard all day.
keep up the great work. |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 09:23:59 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
U go mom.
huggs,
yobrat,
emy |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 09:39:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Thanks for the smiles , Connie... Lmao...
Jenni |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by katt on
Saturday, 13th May 2006 @ 09:44:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Laughter is the best medicine. Thanks for the healing at the end of the day.
katt |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 02:12:36 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is really fah-nee, ConSue. :-) Thanks for the laugh. |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 05:57:17 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
And Viagra was not mentioned once!. Just as well - in Australia they give it to men in nursing homes to stop them rolling out of bed at night!
LC, a clever and lovingly animated post. More!
Spike |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Drapes on
Monday, 15th May 2006 @ 07:41:09 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Hahah!! LMAO Soo funny!! |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 17th May 2006 @ 11:42:44 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
You are a delight, Consue! This has left me with a big smile on my face!!
~Snemmy
(who also found Spike's comment terribly amusing *wink*) |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by brooken_22 on
Friday, 19th May 2006 @ 09:48:32 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Sry bout the last comment...
---Brooken_22 |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 23rd May 2006 @ 11:33:10 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
~*ConSue*~
oh my gosh, LMAO this is absolutely funny.
Mom I can't stop laughing. I better keep a track of these ten commandments for I may need to refer back to them in the future, lol.
Always a delightful pleasure to visit ur pages Mom. The pictures are awesome too. A brilliantly penned poem that has the reader in fits of laughter. Thanks so much for the laughs Mom.
love ya sweet lady,
~*suzie Q*~ |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Tuesday, 23rd May 2006 @ 11:35:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| ahahahahahahahaha consue |
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Re: SENIOR LOVEMAKING TIPS
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Tuesday, 13th June 2006 @ 12:33:17 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
ha ha
you so funny |
|
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