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Array
(
[sid] => 119507
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Flying
[time] => 2006-05-04 19:21:21
[hometext] => The muse hovered about all last Sunday, but materialized only that evening, and in an indirect form - rather than address the subjects of the day directly, I ended up writing of their effect on the process.
[bodytext] => In a trickle of pure morning air
I sit watching. Seeing,
believing.
-
In the vivid coal-color
of a glossy crow, flapping
in the clear air,
landing in a tree's sprung verdure,
black, blue, green…
-
In the hearty laugh
of a fellowman, friend
who too knows the secrets
of making music, and floating on it…
-
In the bright light
gleaming on the edges
of the girls' hair,
full of youthful hue and life…
-
In the sheen of affection
in the eyes of an old friend,
relaying sad news
of the other half's passage hence,
into the murmuring sea
on the edge of dear life…
-
In a trickle of pure morning air
I sit watching. Seeing,
believing -
there's a poem resting,
awaiting words.
Holding my pen, weighed down
with the liberating burden
that's tethered to the two wings
of my open notebook…
I'll fly away in a moment.
© MMVI ADL
[comments] => 16
[counter] => 418
[topic] => 19
[informant] => fionndruinne
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 40
[ratings] => 8
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => InspirationalPoems
)
Flying
Contributed by
fionndruinne
on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 07:21:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
In a trickle of pure morning air
I sit watching. Seeing,
believing.
-
In the vivid coal-color
of a glossy crow, flapping
in the clear air,
landing in a tree's sprung verdure,
black, blue, green…
-
In the hearty laugh
of a fellowman, friend
who too knows the secrets
of making music, and floating on it…
-
In the bright light
gleaming on the edges
of the girls' hair,
full of youthful hue and life…
-
In the sheen of affection
in the eyes of an old friend,
relaying sad news
of the other half's passage hence,
into the murmuring sea
on the edge of dear life…
-
In a trickle of pure morning air
I sit watching. Seeing,
believing -
there's a poem resting,
awaiting words.
Holding my pen, weighed down
with the liberating burden
that's tethered to the two wings
of my open notebook…
I'll fly away in a moment.
© MMVI ADL
Copyright ©
fionndruinne
... [
2006-05-04 19:21:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 07:37:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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such great imagery and a perfect choice of words make this poem one of the best i've read in a while.
great descriptions and metaphors.
wiz |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 02:55:57 AM AEST
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The final stanza is definitely the best. The fourth line of the second stanza could have benefited from some shortening, as the first stanza is very succinct and direct, and the second contrasts too harshly with it. The concept is fantastic, building on the closing sentence. In fact, The whole poem seems to "float" before coming to rest on the line "I'll fly away in a moment". It's very effective, and enigmatic in it's ambiguity. Another nice poem from the all round good guy.
You're welcome,
black. |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 08:23:21 AM AEST
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sorry I have not come across your work...you are indeed a talented writer...going through your poems they all are spectacular and I too adore your imagination and skill with words!
coni |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 10:08:47 AM AEST
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|
| Andrew, This was a beautiful piece. I felt like I was being swept away. I liked the description of the crow in the second stanza. The last stanza was just......awesome. Thank you for sharing. Much peace to you, Laura |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 5th May 2006 @ 03:29:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Woooah. That last line really says it all, huh?
Inspiration , it's a marvelous thing, and you have written about it beautifully.
I love that last stanza the most.
I don't know what alse to say about this, Andrew.
Phyllis xxx |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 11:23:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Andrew: your poems deliver a beautiful feeling.. emotion... I like the texture and rhythm to this piece..
RL
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th May 2006 @ 07:06:09 PM AEST
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CLAPS happily!!!!
What a moment caught!
I love it!...OK, them...both the poem and the moment we as poets all...hopefully...know so well.
Excellent my friend!! |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th May 2006 @ 03:41:05 AM AEST
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|
Wow, that is a big ol' flower of inspiration; unfolding; blooming. I am seriously impressed with the beautiful imagery and wonderful metaphors.
Thank you for a most pleasant read.
Tim
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 16th May 2006 @ 12:10:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
this seems so surreal to me..
it's beauty is so overwhelming.. lest the thought alone of moving instantaneously, from one beautiful place or thought to another-
it's incredible Andrew.. radiant-
Truly..
B |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 12:21:30 AM AEST
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(Dang... it took me longer than I would have liked to yet here. My apologies, Andrew)
I'm with Billy in thinking this surreal. It... hovers... a wee bit off the page, I think - and, I think, not one of us (readers) will be able to fully grasp it. What I mean is... this, clearly, is a poet's observations. And from all I've read, seen, felt, suspected and believe I know of poet's visions - they are unique and profound (profound in their simplicity and complexity, methinks) and so very all inclusive and yet finite that they never fully land, in their absolute entirity, on the page. I like to think our 'job' is to try and capture as much of it as possible, but to accept that something remains elusive still. (I've a mental image just now of someone standing on tippy toes, pulling words from the air and drawing them down - all the while knowing, they'll never be able to get the whole of the sky in their hands.) Words are magical things, capturing moments is an extraordinary experience.... but.... sometimes the true beauty of the poem is the everything-else-it-is that didn't land there with the words. And... what I'm trying to say here (meaning it as a sincere and utter compliment) is that... here... with this piece... I so truly do appreciate what you've set down... but... what really blows me away is that I feel as though I can sense what you didn't.
I hope, friend, that made some amount of sense - all sorts of late-night-rambly though it was.
~Snemmy |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lo2681 on
Thursday, 18th May 2006 @ 03:19:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very discriptive writing. You are a creative soul. It painted a picture for me. Nice write.
~Lo |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 19th May 2006 @ 05:49:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I could feel the power of the inspiration here.It worked,the poem flew high,
Den |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Thursday, 1st June 2006 @ 11:06:05 PM AEST
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There is ... methinks, dear Andrew ... the distinct possibility that you may have been flying without knowledge. I believe you began to soar my friend, the very moment your pen touched down.
Nazzy ~
( who for personal reasons, rather adored the third stanza )
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 06:52:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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(Much like I'm used to) I enjoy your use of expression, and the way you play with words and thoughts. You seem to capture moments like few can, and many of us wish we could. Thank you for sharing : )
Scorp. |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by candysears on
Monday, 12th June 2006 @ 09:49:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very inspirational...This is a great piece of work...
I love this write...
Will certainly be back to read more...
God Bless! |
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Re: Flying
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Sunday, 11th January 2009 @ 01:31:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| poetic without constraint. peace. elle |
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