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Array ( [sid] => 119399 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Buried Alive [time] => 2006-05-02 21:23:22 [hometext] => This poem has been accepted for publishing in a book. I was wondering if some people would be kind enough to proof read this for me. Checking for any errors. Thank you all for your support. [bodytext] => I close my eyes and sense the dark.
The cold alone of a withering heart.
Silence that shakes the eternal soul.
Knowing never again will I feel whole.

Take my body; this life I live.
For I have nothing left to give.
An empty space is all that's here.
Yet that's the least of the things I fear.

Pull apart the pieces of me.
Maybe then I'll be set free.
Take this pain and let me rise.
No longer will I be buried alive.

Take the burdens you've placed on me.
They are yours alone, not mine to keep.
Let me follow this road alone.
Maybe this path can lead me home.

All I ask is for a place to rest.
A quiet place to catch my breath.
Let me remember all the tears I've cried.
As I give you all this last good-bye. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 25 [informant] => broken_wingz [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )

Buried Alive

Contributed by broken_wingz on Tuesday, 2nd May 2006 @ 09:23:22 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

I close my eyes and sense the dark.
The cold alone of a withering heart.
Silence that shakes the eternal soul.
Knowing never again will I feel whole.

Take my body; this life I live.
For I have nothing left to give.
An empty space is all that's here.
Yet that's the least of the things I fear.

Pull apart the pieces of me.
Maybe then I'll be set free.
Take this pain and let me rise.
No longer will I be buried alive.

Take the burdens you've placed on me.
They are yours alone, not mine to keep.
Let me follow this road alone.
Maybe this path can lead me home.

All I ask is for a place to rest.
A quiet place to catch my breath.
Let me remember all the tears I've cried.
As I give you all this last good-bye.

Copyright © broken_wingz ... [ 2006-05-02 21:23:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Buried Alive (User Rating: 1 )
by expired_promises on Tuesday, 2nd May 2006 @ 09:34:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

if you want me to be technical...

in some of the places where you have periods there are not complete sentences

BUT this is poetry and with that ((i believe)) comes the liberty to place your periods where ever you want

otherwise i think the poem looks great

it is beautifully written. you can feel the pressure the narrator feels. awesome job

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