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Array
(
[sid] => 119392
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Meridian Obsidian Blue
[time] => 2006-05-02 19:26:13
[hometext] => playing ^_^ always, abraham
[bodytext] => Finding the waters of her love, he drank, and as the exuberance of his thirst passed, he saw, reflected on the canvases of water, his own intrepid love, drank by the softness of another.
He fell, and the world fell with him. Blue cedar seats and iodine love; crumbling, bloated hearts scattered across the edge of the sea; vomited black scarred morning in bands across his chest, stripped him of his dreams.
She- heavenly, luxurious she- slept in silver fields and nicotine. Wild, transcending mountains rode the surface of her breasts. An August afternoon slipped winds across her hair, bellowed laughter into the dusts of her eyes; she was meridian obsidian blue, the boisterous enchanting night crawled over the depths of the moon.
[comments] => 5
[counter] => 184
[topic] => 73
[informant] => iodinelove
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 5
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => abstract
)
Meridian Obsidian Blue
Contributed by
iodinelove
on
Tuesday, 2nd May 2006 @ 07:26:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Finding the waters of her love, he drank, and as the exuberance of his thirst passed, he saw, reflected on the canvases of water, his own intrepid love, drank by the softness of another.
He fell, and the world fell with him. Blue cedar seats and iodine love; crumbling, bloated hearts scattered across the edge of the sea; vomited black scarred morning in bands across his chest, stripped him of his dreams.
She- heavenly, luxurious she- slept in silver fields and nicotine. Wild, transcending mountains rode the surface of her breasts. An August afternoon slipped winds across her hair, bellowed laughter into the dusts of her eyes; she was meridian obsidian blue, the boisterous enchanting night crawled over the depths of the moon.
Copyright ©
iodinelove
... [
2006-05-02 19:26:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Meridian Obsidian Blue
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd May 2006 @ 07:42:44 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I loved the ending, This is a very figuritive piece full of symbolism, but you need to re-examine the word " drank" in its context and order in this part of the sentence"...drank by the softness of another"..
But overall, Well done, I haven't read anything of your's before. but I will from now on.
cheers,
black. |
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Re: Meridian Obsidian Blue
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 2nd May 2006 @ 11:17:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is very lyrical. Much enjoyed, Abraham.
Andrew |
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Re: Meridian Obsidian Blue
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchHoward on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 12:27:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice flow, beautiful titilating imagery. I like the sound and feel of this poem.
Butch |
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Re: Meridian Obsidian Blue
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 02:15:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Amazing, and captivating
LG |
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Re: Meridian Obsidian Blue
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th May 2006 @ 09:33:57 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Beautiful imagry and words. Awesome! |
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