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Array
(
[sid] => 118283
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Fireflies
[time] => 2006-04-13 22:20:53
[hometext] => My fight with trust. It doesn't seem very good at the start, but read this twice, and I think it will be better than you first expected. Or maybe that's just me :) Even so, this isn't as good as I think my writing usually is, yet it's more honest. Phil xx
[bodytext] => The fight begins inside, again,
I feel the start of doubt,
A flame is lit, it burns with pride,
And suddenly, I'm cast out.
I close my eyes to tears this time,
And feel the past return.
I try to breathe around the pain,
But still the fire burns.
In the corners of my mind, I know,
This will always be the same,
I'm lost in shadow, swamped in doubt,
But I know you're not to blame.
You're just caught here in my heart, somewhere,
And I'm searching deep inside,
I wish to scream and cry for you,
Yet I wish to pray and hide.
But on my knees I shuffle near,
I can beat the past, I know,
I claw my way though my own fear,
Until I am strong enough to go.
I reach out slow with trembling hand,
In fear; you'll turn away,
But just a ghost I have become,
And you have no wish to stay.
I feel like I am nothing now,
As I watch your swift retreat,
I tried to get past fireflies,
But I couldn't brave the heat.
Falling out of my own dreams,
I open my eyes again,
The images have disappeared,
But still lingers the pain.
And though you're still here by my side,
I feel a spark of doubt,
A flame begins, it burns with pride,
And again, I am cast out.
In the corners of my mind, I know,
It will always be the same,
I'm lost in shadow, swamped in doubt,
But reaching for the flame.
[comments] => 8
[counter] => 277
[topic] => 61
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 30
[ratings] => 6
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => selfstruggles
)
Fireflies
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 10:20:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
The fight begins inside, again,
I feel the start of doubt,
A flame is lit, it burns with pride,
And suddenly, I'm cast out.
I close my eyes to tears this time,
And feel the past return.
I try to breathe around the pain,
But still the fire burns.
In the corners of my mind, I know,
This will always be the same,
I'm lost in shadow, swamped in doubt,
But I know you're not to blame.
You're just caught here in my heart, somewhere,
And I'm searching deep inside,
I wish to scream and cry for you,
Yet I wish to pray and hide.
But on my knees I shuffle near,
I can beat the past, I know,
I claw my way though my own fear,
Until I am strong enough to go.
I reach out slow with trembling hand,
In fear; you'll turn away,
But just a ghost I have become,
And you have no wish to stay.
I feel like I am nothing now,
As I watch your swift retreat,
I tried to get past fireflies,
But I couldn't brave the heat.
Falling out of my own dreams,
I open my eyes again,
The images have disappeared,
But still lingers the pain.
And though you're still here by my side,
I feel a spark of doubt,
A flame begins, it burns with pride,
And again, I am cast out.
In the corners of my mind, I know,
It will always be the same,
I'm lost in shadow, swamped in doubt,
But reaching for the flame.
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-04-13 22:20:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 10:59:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well,
May I just say this poem is nothing less than brilliant. I read it several times and I find myself relating to this in so many ways . I have put this in my top five favorite poems now , touching and beautiful Phil,
Hugs LG |
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on
Thursday, 13th April 2006 @ 11:32:27 PM AEST
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Oh boy, I really get this one. I have major trust issues myself. This is very honest and extremely well written, I especially like the way the poem comes back to the beginning, like a spiralling cycle repeating itself. That's what it's like. Well done.
~Jenny~ |
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on
Friday, 14th April 2006 @ 12:11:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A tremendous poem that is great straight from the beginning.....you are a brilliant writer and how you talk about your poetry being not that good makes people like me think....if only....if only I could be half or a third as good...
anyway a brilliant write....trust....sometimes it is so hard to swallow...
coni.
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 14th April 2006 @ 12:43:34 AM AEST
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moving to to my inner most being.
FLowing and heart gripping, I feel this.
Incredible.
Michelle |
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Saturday, 15th April 2006 @ 03:26:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ok, critical comment alert ....
You color the words with your author's statement. Everything after "TRUST" ... should be tossed into the fire that you are flirting with. Hun, you gotta start with trust somewhere ... so apply it to you. Believe in your words. You will always know what they mean to you even if others fall short of their interpretation.
( Kay, that said )
The returning to the begining completes the viscious circle that our battle with emotions always carries us through ... but the way you change the last line ... to me speaks of a learning and an attempt to want to try and perservere. I find it a triumphant write Phil. A joy to read.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 19th April 2006 @ 07:07:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
oh hun! I know I've been telling you what I think of this, but I must, (simply MUST) post
a comment here.
I love how raw and open this piece is. I find it to be one of your complete best! So much
courage in here. At first, it seems a bit torn and sad, but that ending, (and WHAT an
ending!) brings faith and hope everlasting.
"But reaching for the flame"
Yes, we as humans are always reaching for the flame. Flame of youth, flame of passion,
flame of trust . . . we are both undaunted and relentless in our struggle. Know this,
sweetie, you are not alone, for whatever comfort that may bring. And the fact that we
do not give up in our reaching, is what brings the faith and hope for all the tomorrows.
I've said it before, you have such a command of the written word. It's amazing. Quite often, I
find myself wishing I had written what I read from you. (It's like you are reading and translating
my very soul!)
Beautiful work, Philly. Outstanding, really!
*love and hugs to you*
Always-
~Breezy |
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 20th April 2006 @ 10:21:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Circular and with deep felt meaning.
I really like this one Phyllis...I mean REALLY like this one!!! |
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Re: Fireflies
(User Rating: 1 )
by lilmom101 on
Monday, 26th June 2006 @ 06:15:07 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i thought this was good on my first read i hope to read alot more with this potential |
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