Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!
Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com    Poems On Site: 198,500+   Comments On Poems: 427,000+   Forum Posts: 105,000+
Custom Search
  Welcome ! Home  ·  FAQ  ·  Topics  ·  Web Links  ·  Your Account  ·  Submit Poetry  ·  Top 30  ·  01-November 10:09:54 AEST  
  Menu
  Home
· Micks Shop
· Our eBay Store· Error Submit
 Poetry
· Submit Poetry
· Least Read Poems
· Topics
· Members Listing
· Poetry Archive
· Public Domain Poetry
 Stories
· Stories (NEW ! )
· Submit Story
· Story Topics
· Stories Archive
· Story Search
  Community
· Our Poetry Forums
· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

  Site Help
· FAQ
· Feedback

  Members Areas
· Your Account· Premium Sign-Up
  Premium Section
· Special Section
· Premium Poems
· Premium Submit
· Premium Search
· Premium Top
· Premium Archive
· Premium Topics
 Fun & Games

· Jokes
 Reference
· Content
 Search
· Search
· Web Links
· All Links
 Top
· Top 30
  Help This Site
 Others
· Recipes
· Moderators
Our Other Sites
· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

  Social

Just A Mistake

Contributed by Drapes on Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 10:17:20 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



She stands alone,
Envies from afar,
A friendship she used to cherish,
That's now been torn apart.

She stands alone,
Admiring the guy of her dreams.
But he only knows her name,
And could care less, it seems.

She stands alone,
Mind running a race.
Pressure building up inside,
But a smile on her face.

She stands alone,
Crying crimson tears.
Her scarred and torn up arms
Haven't been clean in years.

She stands alone,
Doesn't like to eat.
Not in front of people,
Although it makes her weak.

She stands alone,
Silently screaming for help.
Or just a little attention.
Such nasty cards she's been dealt.

She stands alone,
Tired of being forgot.
She pulls out a braided rope,
And ties a sturdy knot.

She stands alone,
And slips on her newest fashion.
A necklace of coarse brown straw,
That's been tightly woven.

She stands alone,
Writing a note to Dad.
Then she gives the rope a yank,
A beautiful girl gone bad.

She hangs alone,
A bold decision to make.
But this is the best solution,
For her life was just a mistake.




Copyright © Drapes ... [ 2006-03-24 22:17:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)





Advertisments:






Previous Posted Poem         | |         Next Posted Poem


 
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.
Re: Just A Mistake (User Rating: 1 )
by moses on Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 10:36:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Wowwww....woowwww.

speechless...such an amazing poem! Props, 5 stars, what a powerful piece of work. I really really felt this one, I've been meaning to write something like this too, but you did it much better than I ever would've.

I could go on and on, I can't even pick my favorite part cuz I'd just paste the whole poem back.

Well done..No wait..Very well done,
-moses


Re: Just A Mistake (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Friday, 24th March 2006 @ 10:46:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
i think this is a good poem. i think it did lack a lot of originality in the beginning, but you did make up for it as you went throughout the poem and made an excellent ending. as you have been able to probably tell, i hate repetition of any kind, but i do like how you changed up the beginning line of the last stanza. creative, and put that format to use. many poems dont, and use repetition as a way to keep the write somewhat on topic and to make it seem more together than just ramblings. some of the good things i noticed in this was your use of "nasty" when refering to the cards. i think that was a good word to use because one never really hears it used in poetry, much less with that cliche. an original use of an adjective. "havent been cleaned in years". original line, and gives the reader some mind games to play with how many years and some will think of cleanliness is next to godliness and cleaness is like purity, etc. another good adjective "sturdy". most suicide poems rarely use adjectives when they actually describe the rope involved. they describe knives, blades, guns, but never the rope really. the newest fashion idea excellent one. the use of calling her a beautiful (inside/outside) girl makes the reader think "well, wow, a beautiful girl she deserved to live she had something to live for" and that leads to sympathy, as does a lot of the concepts in here since they are general and people can identify with them. then the ending is like, well even though she was beautiful, she was a mistake and deserved to die. a bit of irony with some word play. i think this poem has a lot of good things in it, and you let your originality and talent show. after all, with originality and talent like that, what else would the reader want?


Re: Just A Mistake (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 12:41:59 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Excellent write. Its like you were speaking right through me.


Re: Just A Mistake (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 25th March 2006 @ 02:28:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Heartwrenching, sad and yet wonderfully written. This is poem gets better from one verse to the next,

LG


Re: Just A Mistake (User Rating: 1 )
by BrokenXbyManyX on Saturday, 6th May 2006 @ 09:33:46 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Woooow, niiCe. I know just how that gurl can feel. Seems sad, but yet hits home for just about everyone.

Good job!

L8ter.

Lauren ;)




While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com