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Array
(
[sid] => 116382
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => OCEAN
[time] => 2006-03-13 22:37:31
[hometext] => THIS IS A SPIRITUAL SELF STRUGGLING POEM ABOUT MYSELF- BUT IT HAS A RESOLVE AND IM DOING BETTER
[bodytext] => i am drowning in an ocean the current is pulling me in strong and forceful it is i feel it sucking me in the whilrwind of this ocean- the death thereof is becoming quite desireable and enticing for i have been stubborn wanting to walk the road alone wouldnt ask for help wouldnt trust the lord too caught up in my pain to let the lord take it away and the drops of trials continuously falls until finding myself out here drowning in an ocean of water i have had my pttiy party all in all giving up my dignity letting myself go i begin my walk down hells road- shattering my once hard rock foundation land to nothing but tiny grains of sand- i am out here in the depth of the ocean with nothing for me to grab on- i once started walking on the shallow end where the water barely got my feet wet pitter pattering around i play with the idea of going out for as i see the drops of trials my stubborn will follows determined i can walk out in the ocean and the mouth thereof cannot swallow me in so, dareing myself to step out a little bit to test the waters to see how far they would take me but each step i took some good i forsook and my tiny grains of sand now being swept up by the ocean i now have no foundation and now the current has a hold of me forceing me in too deep- with complete hold of me its squeezing the life out of me pulling me down i begin to cry out loud screaming as i should, to the lord i pleaded it funnny how we only think of him when death is threatening to take us in but still the lord knows of my humbled soul i should have never tried my path alone the hard way i had to learn my lesson but some one once told me God allows us to go through such things because they bring us where he wants us to be that is down on our knees, closer to he now thanking him for his kind mecy i take the faith that i have inside of me and then believe he will come rescue me as my fingertips begin to slip while the water takes me all the way in- i cry silently loud to myself i will not fail now, my faith for i already failed it once and that got me here in this disasterous mess finally, i then feel it, the touch of his hand he pulls me up taking me to safe dry land water dripping off my body in heavy sheets falling i feel as though i have been washed clean for indeed i have been brought closer to he stronger in the faith stronger in my soul closer to God than ever before my soul rests from the torment and anguish within me faith takes its place as my soul is nurtured and fed it is amazing to see the touch of the masters hand teach heal and strengthen me again it is good to be back on hard rock foundation for i am on the right path again holding tight, the lords hand- february 27 2006 [comments] => 1 [counter] => 189 [topic] => 61 [informant] => Adelle [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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