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Array ( [sid] => 1162 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Why is HE here? [time] => 2002-07-26 16:01:25 [hometext] => I was in a bad relationship, VERY BAD, for 3 years. I know that since I was only 13 when I got into this particular mess that some people wouldn't understand the fear that comes from being in any abusive relationship... It's been a year since I finally got out of that situation, only by God's grace really. This poem can only portray a portion of that. I hope that this poem and my other one like this "That Summer" can enlighten some of you on the terrors that a lot of people know nothing about. [bodytext] => I saw HIM standing there
And the terror coursed through my soul.
HE had that LOOK upon his face
Etched into his whole
Attitude....
That SMUG LOOK on his face
Like he KNEW what was causing
The terror. My heart to race.
He had that gravel tint to his voice
When he said "Let's talk outside."
But three years had taught me something at least
Knowing what was coming, I went to the back to hide
In the bustle of the kitchens
Amidst the servers and the other help
And when my best friend touched my shoulder
I did my best to try not to yelp,
Or cry,
Or let anyone see the pain...
I KNEW that I couldn't go OUT THERE
Even in THAT CROWD... I'm not insane.
Not out there when you have THAT look
In the crystal ice of your eyes,
Not while there's still all that hatred for me
Locked up deep inside.
Not while I can still see me
Down on my knees...
Begging for my life....
Please... don't... not now... PLEASE!
Not while I can still feel
Those tears crease down my face...
Not when I know that it was God
That got me out.... helped me to escape.
I'm not really as insane
As I may look right now...
Good Lord my hands are STILL shaking...
I think I need to sit down.
The AUDACITY of him
Coming here when I'm finally almost free of fear..
No... I think I understand the answer now....
To the unstoppable question... "Why is he here?" [comments] => 6 [counter] => 200 [topic] => 31 [informant] => ginsdance [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )
Why is HE here?

Contributed by ginsdance on Friday, 26th July 2002 @ 04:01:25 PM in AEST
Topic: StoryPoetry



I saw HIM standing there
And the terror coursed through my soul.
HE had that LOOK upon his face
Etched into his whole
Attitude....
That SMUG LOOK on his face
Like he KNEW what was causing
The terror. My heart to race.
He had that gravel tint to his voice
When he said "Let's talk outside."
But three years had taught me something at least
Knowing what was coming, I went to the back to hide
In the bustle of the kitchens
Amidst the servers and the other help
And when my best friend touched my shoulder
I did my best to try not to yelp,
Or cry,
Or let anyone see the pain...
I KNEW that I couldn't go OUT THERE
Even in THAT CROWD... I'm not insane.
Not out there when you have THAT look
In the crystal ice of your eyes,
Not while there's still all that hatred for me
Locked up deep inside.
Not while I can still see me
Down on my knees...
Begging for my life....
Please... don't... not now... PLEASE!
Not while I can still feel
Those tears crease down my face...
Not when I know that it was God
That got me out.... helped me to escape.
I'm not really as insane
As I may look right now...
Good Lord my hands are STILL shaking...
I think I need to sit down.
The AUDACITY of him
Coming here when I'm finally almost free of fear..
No... I think I understand the answer now....
To the unstoppable question... "Why is he here?"




Copyright © ginsdance ... [ 2002-07-26 16:01:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Why is HE here? (User Rating: 1 )
by xFalling_of_Starsx on Friday, 26th July 2002 @ 04:14:07 PM AEST
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this almost made me cry, i am so sorry you had to go threw all that. You can really sense the emotion in the words.


Re: Why is HE here? (User Rating: 1 )
by Suzy on Friday, 26th July 2002 @ 05:39:51 PM AEST
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Any abusive situation is tough...sorry to hear you had to go thru something like this and glad you made it out...very emotional write here....

~~~Lasca~~~


Re: Why is HE here? (User Rating: 1 )
by Chrissie on Friday, 26th July 2002 @ 05:58:18 PM AEST
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Oh Gin...my daughter went through this for 7 years from the age of 16 and noone...not her parents, police, prison...noone could stop him. He died from natural causes 2 years ago and that put an ene to the nightmare.
You've captured it all in your poem...I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope it encourages to you to know that she is at last beginning to move on.
I wrote " BraveHeart about Her" and " I Can't Kiss Your Pain Away" on the old site.
My heart goes out to you
Chrissie xxx


Re: Why is HE here? (User Rating: 1 )
by Sherry_Gail_Heim on Saturday, 27th July 2002 @ 07:43:24 AM AEST
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Powerful write Gin...I am nearly numb with the emotion of this piece...saddened and wishing that there was a way to change this part of your life for you. Abuse is addictive for both the abuser and the abused often. I am glad that you managed to get out of the line of fire...now...you just need to learn to heal the fear.
Take care,
Sherry


Re: Why is HE here? (User Rating: 1 )
by spaceotter on Thursday, 1st August 2002 @ 02:01:47 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I feel the fear in your words.


Re: Why is HE here? (User Rating: 1 )
by BluGurl6 on Friday, 2nd August 2002 @ 05:16:03 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
u're a very strong person. this was a very powerful poem.




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