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Array
(
[sid] => 116148
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Storm Within
[time] => 2006-03-09 18:39:05
[hometext] => ...Yes, it hurts... But it always calms down in the end, right?
[bodytext] => A battle is fought underneath my skin,
I can feel the storm building within,
Clouds whirl round above my head,
The winds shriek of a friendship, dead.
The grasses bend below the storm,
The lightning hits, the fires form,
They burn out love, ignite the pain,
The thunder booms 'You are to blame'
Ground now cracks, as plates collide,
Chasms open, there's nowhere to hide,
Volcanos spew and seethe with hate,
The lava burns the life away.
The land cries out; It slowly dies,
The outcome of your tainted lies,
Yet still the wind blows over death,
And declares my shame, in its last breath...
The trees bow down in quiet pain,
They're waiting now, to die in flame...
Until...
The rain comes down and soothes the sore...
But the world still laughs...
...Just like before...
[comments] => 9
[counter] => 273
[topic] => 65
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 20
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => toughstuff
)
The Storm Within
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 06:39:05 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
A battle is fought underneath my skin,
I can feel the storm building within,
Clouds whirl round above my head,
The winds shriek of a friendship, dead.
The grasses bend below the storm,
The lightning hits, the fires form,
They burn out love, ignite the pain,
The thunder booms 'You are to blame'
Ground now cracks, as plates collide,
Chasms open, there's nowhere to hide,
Volcanos spew and seethe with hate,
The lava burns the life away.
The land cries out; It slowly dies,
The outcome of your tainted lies,
Yet still the wind blows over death,
And declares my shame, in its last breath...
The trees bow down in quiet pain,
They're waiting now, to die in flame...
Until...
The rain comes down and soothes the sore...
But the world still laughs...
...Just like before...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2006-03-09 18:39:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 06:45:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Philly, I have been waiting for another one of your amazing writes and my wish has been granted in the form of this well.... brilliant write as always!!!
there is nobody else on this site who can write a poem like you, your creativity and depth is a one off!!!
great stuff as always!!!
hugs hun
pix xx |
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by thesinner on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 07:44:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| i really enjoyed. Great write |
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alison on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 08:03:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| really great! i loved it. |
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 9th March 2006 @ 08:18:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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As I stated to you earlier hun, this was very different for you.
But oh, how I LOVE it!! I especially like the last bit ...
"The rain comes down and soothes the sore...
But the world still laughs...
...Just like before..."
wow ! There is sadness in here, but I sense a bitterness as well.
Something I've not seen from you before. Still, I believe it's better
out than in. Your talent shines brilliant in this write, hun.
This piece ... reminds me of something ... like taking your heart
and wringing it out ... and what falls down is all the hurt and anguish
from times past .... this is an exquisite piece, hun. Truly. *****
*hugs you tons and tons*
~Breezy
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on
Friday, 10th March 2006 @ 07:55:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| wow, absolutely fantastic poem! i loved it, what an amazing writer you are. |
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 10th March 2006 @ 10:55:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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OMG, Phil!!!! This poem is brilliantly breathtaking. Outstanding imagery, emotion, flow....it is everything a poem should be!!!
*huge hug*
Tim
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 10th March 2006 @ 11:07:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is truly lovely, my friend. The ending is striking and moving, and second to that, my favorite lines would be in the first stanza, the first four lines. The italicised dead is just the right touch; there's a lot of emotion in that one line.
This obviously hurt to write, but... it's handled with beauty.
Andrew |
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Monday, 13th March 2006 @ 02:09:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Brilliant poem, I loved it you are so talented. xxxxxxxx |
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Re: The Storm Within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 3rd April 2006 @ 07:07:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This kind of loss and heartache are very elemental, so its fitting you chose such natural but temperamental imagery. I loved it. Great passion, clever construction. My kind of poem - obviously built around a very personal experience for you but univeral and open to the reader's personal interpretation as well.
Spike |
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