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girl in the sunset
Contributed by
-why_not_let_me_live-
on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 07:29:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
When you look at me, what is it do you see,
The smiling face hiding the pain or the shodow behind my eyes,
Do you even notice im here, or do you just not care,
Its hard to describe how i feel, but this feeling is hard to bare,
I know im not happy, but I know im not sad,
Im confused and unwanted, unloved and clad,
You see me in the distance, a mere silhouette,
A figment of your imagination, one you'd rather forget,
But ive been forgotten, for far to long,
Im craving attention, I need to belong,
The cuts on my wrists and tears in my eyes,
Tell the real story, foil my disguise,
Im just the girl in the sunset, the mere silhouette,
Why dont you come and join me, Im filled with regret.
Copyright ©
-why_not_let_me_live-
... [
2006-03-08 07:29:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: girl in the sunset
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 07:59:37 AM AEST
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| I too have felt like this before hope everything gets better for you and keep writing it helps. Thanks for sharing enjoyed reading it. |
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Re: girl in the sunset
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 08:24:10 AM AEST
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| First verse seems a bit strained to find a ryhmn an doesnt flow as well as the rest of it,,, nice poem,, check ur spellings,, it makes it seem that you dont care for your work if u submit it without checking :-) |
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Re: girl in the sunset
(User Rating: 1 )
by -why_not_let_me_live- on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 08:38:21 AM AEST
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ha ha i never was a good speller and now i look back i still dont see any spelling mistakes ( lol am i stupid or what) he he sorry
thanks for your comments tho, this poem is made up of two seperate unfinished poems i wrote about the same thing i dont like the first verse ether so ishowed it 2 a mate n she like it so i was like ill leave and thats how it ended up here
thanx again for the comments and critisism it helps me become a better poet
xoxo |
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Re: girl in the sunset
(User Rating: 1 )
by chaos78 on
Wednesday, 8th March 2006 @ 09:12:10 AM AEST
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| i can feel your pain because this is how i feel |
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Re: girl in the sunset
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Monday, 12th March 2007 @ 10:48:51 PM AEST
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Reach out and help someone else today and watch your troubles go away.
With all the things you do that are kind.
An appreciation of you you'll find.
So many need you to be with them,
When day is over you are their gem.
No one can give you what you ask,
If your not willing to do this task. Hugs... |
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