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Array ( [sid] => 115462 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Burning Urine [time] => 2006-02-26 20:52:54 [hometext] => [bodytext] => stressed
to excess amounts
flounder baited on hooks of trout
worms crawl to the exit, but are thrown the hell out
threw the fist, through the back door, of the round robin hut
magazines litter the gutter on paths of golden smut
contemporary ****
cosmopolitan cherry city cyber dwelling luck

risk it all
ready to rise and fall
dirt on the knees from the long crawl, long haul, long line
of cave mines
of dead times
masked men enter the pits of burning crimes
lucrative pipes channeling blood confined
to the prison cell, of the vesicle, a vehicle to the vestibule, of vegetable, in vernacular rhymes
mimic prime
numbers one- three- nine
devisable by themselves
invisible bells
ring like stories
of apple pie and unholy hells

a self portrait
of subjective pork picks
proper fork nicks, tips the law mix, fix the watch tick, prick
prick
lick the door knob
watch the head bob
spit on the glass gut
swallow spread seedling sprawls
seasoned jaws, sharpened claws, metal swords, shoulder wars, shutter stalls
prick
sick
homophobic, claustrophobic, lost your number
twisted *****, second kick, in the groin, genital twitch, sentimental kiss
***** ache
urine burns
kidney turns
mashed potatoes on barbeque curls
love meeting new girls
new furls, frills, flourish in wealth, flageolet flute blows air to the floor

stupid son of a snitch
sneaky sour snatch
snack time over in five minutes
sleep time sounds an alarm of inflatable remiss
ineffably promiscuous
horny masochistic sadist
sad playwright, stay right, stay the night on my bed of lips
relay this
message
to the leader of the sexiest
sex or gender
ethnic
religious
orientation, commencement of dedication, origination of documented text
it rests
on its back
with its face
to the sun, one, kingdom come, swallow the gun, enter the unimagined



_______________________________
________________________________________________________ [comments] => 3 [counter] => 234 [topic] => 43 [informant] => jyssvw22 [notes] => Edited due to the use of unsuitable language. - Moderator_16 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
Burning Urine

Contributed by jyssvw22 on Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 08:52:54 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



stressed
to excess amounts
flounder baited on hooks of trout
worms crawl to the exit, but are thrown the hell out
threw the fist, through the back door, of the round robin hut
magazines litter the gutter on paths of golden smut
contemporary ****
cosmopolitan cherry city cyber dwelling luck

risk it all
ready to rise and fall
dirt on the knees from the long crawl, long haul, long line
of cave mines
of dead times
masked men enter the pits of burning crimes
lucrative pipes channeling blood confined
to the prison cell, of the vesicle, a vehicle to the vestibule, of vegetable, in vernacular rhymes
mimic prime
numbers one- three- nine
devisable by themselves
invisible bells
ring like stories
of apple pie and unholy hells

a self portrait
of subjective pork picks
proper fork nicks, tips the law mix, fix the watch tick, prick
prick
lick the door knob
watch the head bob
spit on the glass gut
swallow spread seedling sprawls
seasoned jaws, sharpened claws, metal swords, shoulder wars, shutter stalls
prick
sick
homophobic, claustrophobic, lost your number
twisted *****, second kick, in the groin, genital twitch, sentimental kiss
***** ache
urine burns
kidney turns
mashed potatoes on barbeque curls
love meeting new girls
new furls, frills, flourish in wealth, flageolet flute blows air to the floor

stupid son of a snitch
sneaky sour snatch
snack time over in five minutes
sleep time sounds an alarm of inflatable remiss
ineffably promiscuous
horny masochistic sadist
sad playwright, stay right, stay the night on my bed of lips
relay this
message
to the leader of the sexiest
sex or gender
ethnic
religious
orientation, commencement of dedication, origination of documented text
it rests
on its back
with its face
to the sun, one, kingdom come, swallow the gun, enter the unimagined



_______________________________
________________________________________________________




Copyright © jyssvw22 ... [ 2006-02-26 20:52:54]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Burning Urine (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 09:21:52 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
That was one trippy write man, I need to repack the bowl and read this one again. LOL Peace, Laura


Re: Burning Urine (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 27th February 2006 @ 12:41:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
i dont know what your intention was but it felt like you summarised societal existence, itself. I really really enjoyed this piece. The jagged rhyme scheme, the themes, the fashion/manner, the word choice, content. All of it, really. :)
I particularly enjoyed the last to stanzas.
Made my day.


Re: Burning Urine (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Monday, 27th February 2006 @ 02:23:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
jyss..
I was rockin' to and fro throughout-
so rhythmic..no folly rhyme here-

More than hip today-
edgy.. and ALL that-

What a money makin' rap this would be!!
(lest your many riches)

There's something in your work that screams to be heard!!
Why not send a demo somewhere-

Your biggest fan-

Billy




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