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Array ( [sid] => 115439 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Hell [time] => 2006-02-26 13:38:02 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Hell
His life fell before him, like some autumn leaves caught in a dust storm,
He felt serene, but he also felt a slight tear at his torso all through his midsection,
He was in a hospital bed these were his final seconds; he was a heart attack victim,
Nobody could save him. At first he felt submerged like being in a pool too long,
No I’m wrong it was more like a chainsaw, his soul ripped out in all its splendor,
Cast an unknown light, to the somber crowd that gathered, darkness was smothered,
He never even bothered to say goodbye,
Caught up in his own goodbye,
Then his pure energy flew free,
Only to see he was back to reality, back in his body,
O Lord what is this,
He cursed and *****,
I don’t see angels or demons or any of that stuff,
The only response was the echo of his bit hoarse mouth,
From screaming loud,
He was back at home on the couch,
He looked at the mirror,
He couldn’t believe how well he aged,
To this he grinned, full of bravado,
If I'm in heaven let everybody know,
I guess they didn’t know, it was heaven,
Went to the local 7-11,
Saw a bum and was perplexed,
So he ran back vexed,
The streets were all wickedly the same,
In his wife came,
He gave her a puzzled look,
As if she was the one who stole his soul like a crook,
And like a pawn placed it in another dimension,
Honey I died and came back,
What you crazy wack,
So they threw him in the back of an ambulance,
At the mental hospital he got back in,
Check, never to loosen his lips,
They loosened the grips and let him go home,
For he was an actor on Gods page,
Caught in another stage,
Because in life he could never lose his hate,
So when his soul flew free, it was easy to take,
And that my friends is a soul in hell.
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 182 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Bsteel [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Hell

Contributed by Bsteel on Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 01:38:02 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Hell
His life fell before him, like some autumn leaves caught in a dust storm,
He felt serene, but he also felt a slight tear at his torso all through his midsection,
He was in a hospital bed these were his final seconds; he was a heart attack victim,
Nobody could save him. At first he felt submerged like being in a pool too long,
No I’m wrong it was more like a chainsaw, his soul ripped out in all its splendor,
Cast an unknown light, to the somber crowd that gathered, darkness was smothered,
He never even bothered to say goodbye,
Caught up in his own goodbye,
Then his pure energy flew free,
Only to see he was back to reality, back in his body,
O Lord what is this,
He cursed and *****,
I don’t see angels or demons or any of that stuff,
The only response was the echo of his bit hoarse mouth,
From screaming loud,
He was back at home on the couch,
He looked at the mirror,
He couldn’t believe how well he aged,
To this he grinned, full of bravado,
If I'm in heaven let everybody know,
I guess they didn’t know, it was heaven,
Went to the local 7-11,
Saw a bum and was perplexed,
So he ran back vexed,
The streets were all wickedly the same,
In his wife came,
He gave her a puzzled look,
As if she was the one who stole his soul like a crook,
And like a pawn placed it in another dimension,
Honey I died and came back,
What you crazy wack,
So they threw him in the back of an ambulance,
At the mental hospital he got back in,
Check, never to loosen his lips,
They loosened the grips and let him go home,
For he was an actor on Gods page,
Caught in another stage,
Because in life he could never lose his hate,
So when his soul flew free, it was easy to take,
And that my friends is a soul in hell.

Copyright Â© Bsteel ... [ 2006-02-26 13:38:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Hell (User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 04:48:20 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i gotta say, it the title that first attracted me to this poem.

Lets see, what else can i say about it? How the heck you came up with this, i have absolutely no clue, but it was ingenious, the whole situation.... really something, never read anything similar to it.

great job.

~natalya

Re: Hell (User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on Sunday, 26th February 2006 @ 05:25:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well written had me from the inception to completion good work

NS

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