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Array ( [sid] => 115293 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Beginning of the end Part 1 [time] => 2006-02-23 19:52:07 [hometext] => it's been a while since i posted anything..i've been a little neglectful to my writting lately...this isn't great but i am a little rough with words lately..comments please..let me know what you think. [bodytext] => More good days then bad.
The beginning of the end.
The final act for the person i have become
No more nights of solace through tears
The days become shorter
Sometimes almost feeling alive
Understanding kicks in
No more wondering if i would be better off
If everyone would be better of if i was...No More.
Still a slight desire to fade away
To escape into that darkness
To become completely unaware.
oh..to never feel again....
Yet like the desire itself, the want for it fades away
soon enough it will devour itself
It will kill itself....
And i will be....still here...alive...and kicking.
Not quit ready to declare my win
But i may be halfway there....

I wonder what it will be like.
It has been such a long time..
What will i do with myself when i know my choice is to be alive?
How will I take it when I laugh and i know it is not fake?
most importantly, will i be beautiful underneath my mask?
will i be able to look in the mirror and be ok with the person looking back?
Too soon to talk of all this now.
after all i am only halfway there.
But in case i miss the moment
when the demon inside fades into his own darkness
I bid thee farewell.....
This is my anthem, my note in a bottle...I throw it out to sea...
I will send another when the time is right
When i can actually declare my win.
The time grows closer with each passing day
Each night that i do not have to bleed from the eyes
I realize how near the moment is.
This is....My beginning of the end.
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 283 [topic] => 43 [informant] => purplestary [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 21 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Beginning of the end Part 1

Contributed by purplestary on Thursday, 23rd February 2006 @ 07:52:07 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

More good days then bad.
The beginning of the end.
The final act for the person i have become
No more nights of solace through tears
The days become shorter
Sometimes almost feeling alive
Understanding kicks in
No more wondering if i would be better off
If everyone would be better of if i was...No More.
Still a slight desire to fade away
To escape into that darkness
To become completely unaware.
oh..to never feel again....
Yet like the desire itself, the want for it fades away
soon enough it will devour itself
It will kill itself....
And i will be....still here...alive...and kicking.
Not quit ready to declare my win
But i may be halfway there....

I wonder what it will be like.
It has been such a long time..
What will i do with myself when i know my choice is to be alive?
How will I take it when I laugh and i know it is not fake?
most importantly, will i be beautiful underneath my mask?
will i be able to look in the mirror and be ok with the person looking back?
Too soon to talk of all this now.
after all i am only halfway there.
But in case i miss the moment
when the demon inside fades into his own darkness
I bid thee farewell.....
This is my anthem, my note in a bottle...I throw it out to sea...
I will send another when the time is right
When i can actually declare my win.
The time grows closer with each passing day
Each night that i do not have to bleed from the eyes
I realize how near the moment is.
This is....My beginning of the end.

Copyright © purplestary ... [ 2006-02-23 19:52:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Beginning of the end Part 1 (User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on Thursday, 23rd February 2006 @ 09:59:13 PM AEST
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i loved it, you were beautiful with your words.
seems too real.

~natalya

Re: Beginning of the end Part 1 (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 24th February 2006 @ 04:02:45 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Well penned! A selection of words. Great flow. A sad one, in many ways. But your talent screams here.

Excellent!

- SCM

Re: Beginning of the end Part 1 (User Rating: 1 )
by Leslie on Tuesday, 28th February 2006 @ 10:51:20 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Your poem was heart rending and introspective. Depression is surely a demon we must all fight mightily. You poem was very expressive and well written.

Re: Beginning of the end Part 1 (User Rating: 1 )
by trackiller2006 on Saturday, 18th November 2006 @ 12:31:24 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

One of the best I have read in a while. Great write!

Re: Beginning of the end Part 1 (User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on Monday, 25th June 2007 @ 04:09:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Oh what an end to a majestic beginning. I have seen the wings of your flight ahead in your works and I envy the soaring of those wings you have taken into flight. Fly wise healing bird and take your flock with you to encourge others to fly!!Bless you.

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