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Array ( [sid] => 115021 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Loathing Myself [time] => 2006-02-18 21:36:47 [hometext] => i wrote these two peoms a long time ago and now i've put them together... [bodytext] => I fear looking in
The mirror
Not understanding
Why I'm still here
Not understanding the facts

My life's so unclear
Why is it so unfair?
So I sit for hours
And just stare
Until my mind tricks me into thinking
I'm not there
Then I snap back to reality
Finally figure out this person
Really isn't me
This make-up
These clothes
Never who I wanted to be
Its so fake
But why do I loathe me?


Words will never express
All that I'm going through
Artform can never stress
What I'm going to do
Since no one's here to share
My life with
Breathing, living impared
Nothing to hold on with

Loneliness takes
Its final toll
My body shakes
As does my soul
It's all the same
And its the lack of control
Tricking me to think
I'm truly something specail
I should just leave
I will just go
But I would like to believe
I can have more to show
Than just a few fading memories
I wish...it wasn't me I loathed
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 161 [topic] => 61 [informant] => SmileSkinDeep [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
Loathing Myself

Contributed by SmileSkinDeep on Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 09:36:47 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



I fear looking in
The mirror
Not understanding
Why I'm still here
Not understanding the facts

My life's so unclear
Why is it so unfair?
So I sit for hours
And just stare
Until my mind tricks me into thinking
I'm not there
Then I snap back to reality
Finally figure out this person
Really isn't me
This make-up
These clothes
Never who I wanted to be
Its so fake
But why do I loathe me?


Words will never express
All that I'm going through
Artform can never stress
What I'm going to do
Since no one's here to share
My life with
Breathing, living impared
Nothing to hold on with

Loneliness takes
Its final toll
My body shakes
As does my soul
It's all the same
And its the lack of control
Tricking me to think
I'm truly something specail
I should just leave
I will just go
But I would like to believe
I can have more to show
Than just a few fading memories
I wish...it wasn't me I loathed




Copyright © SmileSkinDeep ... [ 2006-02-18 21:36:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Loathing Myself (User Rating: 1 )
by drtylilsecret on Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 09:43:43 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
that was really great april, it just seemed so.....real i guess. Been feeling like that all the time lately, and somehow, you managed to put that into words! i don't think i ever could've. again, great job

~natalya


Re: Loathing Myself (User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on Saturday, 18th February 2006 @ 11:51:52 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
This is a great poem, very powerful emotion. Yeah, I've felt this way before.

~Jenny~




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