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Array ( [sid] => 11500 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Suicidal mind [time] => 2003-01-28 17:20:00 [hometext] => The stuff in bracket is like the little debilatiting comments that my damn suicidal mind always throws in when I try and be positive.....the funny thing is that is always rite too........this is just a new way of writing i wanted to try out....pz [bodytext] => (Carve)
That smile on
your face
Oh happiness
you taste so sweet
(actually its rather bitter when ur mixed with the steel)
a (bitter) sweet escape
(the price you pay to be perfect)
makes you oblivious
(makes the world oblivious)
like a pair of dark
sunglasses on a sunny day
(they can't see your screaming)
everyone knows who you are
because your so incredible
(you aren't)
they love you and your
life
(why don't you?)
-{P@'o3}- [comments] => 3 [counter] => 191 [topic] => 36 [informant] => Patterz [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 2 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Suicidal mind

Contributed by Patterz on Tuesday, 28th January 2003 @ 05:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

(Carve)
That smile on
your face
Oh happiness
you taste so sweet
(actually its rather bitter when ur mixed with the steel)
a (bitter) sweet escape
(the price you pay to be perfect)
makes you oblivious
(makes the world oblivious)
like a pair of dark
sunglasses on a sunny day
(they can't see your screaming)
everyone knows who you are
because your so incredible
(you aren't)
they love you and your
life
(why don't you?)
-{P@'o3}-

Copyright © Patterz ... [ 2003-01-28 17:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Suicidal mind (User Rating: 1 )
by kegs04 on Tuesday, 28th January 2003 @ 09:05:26 PM AEST
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hey I like the peom and the style is used, I am by no means any kind of pro, but i liked the way you expressed debating thoughts in the brackets..shows multiple thoughts, interesting!
great write!!

Re: Suicidal mind (User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on Sunday, 2nd February 2003 @ 09:22:16 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This was really good I enjoyed it immensely I've been there lots of times. Hang in there I hope writing poetry helps.

Bobo (Joel)

Re: Suicidal mind (User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on Friday, 7th February 2003 @ 04:30:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this is a really powerful poem - you really get a sense of conflict inside your own head. i can relate to the feeling of another voice which is really just another one of your own. hope you find the strength you need, its out there, i promise. keep writing, you're talented. KT xxx

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