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Array ( [sid] => 114960 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => confusing in its being [time] => 2006-02-17 12:47:24 [hometext] => [bodytext] =>
a faded breeze the taste of death slips off my scornful tongue

the ringing of my church held box this tune already has been sung

seeing my past like a faded dream confusing in its being

a collections on nightmares and screams living yet unseen

a picture lies with broken glass a moment of reflect

of a childhood that didnt last filled with trial and neglect

but that was then my life was now a story with out reason

the way i act and the words of fact i am lucky they dont charge me with treason

for things i say or the goverments sick way of treating us all the same

but really not sure how to run or even end this game

i stand in line to pay the respect of the man i once had been

but i will leave him here with out a tear and start my life again
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 161 [topic] => 73 [informant] => lostrelic [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 18 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => abstract )

confusing in its being

Contributed by lostrelic on Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 12:47:24 PM in AEST
Topic: abstract

a faded breeze the taste of death slips off my scornful tongue

the ringing of my church held box this tune already has been sung

seeing my past like a faded dream confusing in its being

a collections on nightmares and screams living yet unseen

a picture lies with broken glass a moment of reflect

of a childhood that didnt last filled with trial and neglect

but that was then my life was now a story with out reason

the way i act and the words of fact i am lucky they dont charge me with treason

for things i say or the goverments sick way of treating us all the same

but really not sure how to run or even end this game

i stand in line to pay the respect of the man i once had been

but i will leave him here with out a tear and start my life again

Copyright © lostrelic ... [ 2006-02-17 12:47:24]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: confusing in its being (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 02:43:40 PM AEST
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Very nice, great description. Flowed fairly well and much unlike my own writing, it rhymed lol, I never could do that well. A pleasure to read. And I hope to see more.

-Cassy

Re: confusing in its being (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 02:59:38 PM AEST
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Yes. and also, to know that each day we can have a brand new start... we are always being renewed.. onward march.. hugs.. raquelleah

Re: confusing in its being (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Friday, 17th February 2006 @ 10:13:50 PM AEST
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Powerful stuff Relic, thanks for sharing, Peace, Laura

Re: confusing in its being (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 21st February 2006 @ 12:18:01 AM AEST
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i can relate to confusion...perhaps too well.
i think the structure here is fitting... the content is light and airy with strong suggestive tones and moods.
some interesting choice of words and expressions. i particularly enjoyed the 3rd line.
some beautiful imagery and sound rhymes.
This piece seems to hold many personal and social interpretations..
Thanks for sharing.

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