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Array
(
[sid] => 11456
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Blood
[time] => 2003-01-28 02:40:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I see the blood and i begin to feel faint..
I see the cuts i feel the air rushing from me.. I feel the pain and the relief of emotions... I see your face and i begin to cry...... I never ment to make you see me like this i never wanted you to see this side of me i only wish i could take back the things i have done but the scars remain so im sorry that you had to see my arms like this and that you have to see the look on my face when i saw your tears..... I see you cry and begin to realize the truth of what i have done i did it to myself yes but i hurt you in the process of making myself feel pain free....some dont understand why i do it or why i need it .....well i dont need it but i like it, the feeling i get when i bleed, the rush of the loosened muscles, the relaxed feel, then it all ends and the pain sinks in deep into my soul, and your eyes burn into mine telling me that you cant beleive what i have done.... i never ment to hurt you but i guess i didnt see how much you love me until then the moment you begged me to stop and the tears welled up in your eyes, the moment i promised i would stop, and to this day i have not even lifted a knife to myself, but seeing and hearing your in pain and wont show me the truth makes me feel lost and confused, it makes my heart stiffen from stress, it causes my lungs to stretch and make it hard to breathe, like having something heavy set apon my chest, hearing that your love is not true and that those words are not from your lips makes the pain and confined feelings stronger, it makes me uncomfortable, the thought of another in your arms makes me feel the need to bleed, the need to let out the anger and pain, let them out some how, let the darkened blood flow free to save my mind, but i never wish to see your eyes burn with tears like that again........ i give you myself in return for yourself, protect me the way i would protect you, save me from myself.........for i love you no matter how it hurts to breathe with out you.......or to see them kissing you, feeling your strong touch.....love me please just love me, if not then tell me the truth and set me free..... [comments] => 2 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 13 [informant] => tier [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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