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Array
(
[sid] => 11441
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => My Life
[time] => 2003-01-27 22:45:00
[hometext] => Its for english class about my life and how i feel
[bodytext] => My Life
I am young with unseen fears and untold dreams, I don’t understand the life I live, it’s to confusing to comprehend, school is my safe haven when I wanted to die, I search out teachers for my answers on life, I’ve been this way for a while, I look to fighting, I search for hatred, I’m unable to hate, with thoughts of killing, To most I’m a loser who is anorexic but I’m more than that but not a lot more, back in the day teachers hated me, but I began to change, I’m a girl of anger, I hide from the world , I hate the way of my life if only I could at least live one day happy instead of numb and sad, sadness is a causality I live for sadness, every day is faced with rejection, every day I cry for I am nothing compared to the rest. I though poetry of my own, but Im not alone with the pencil, suicide is still a question, I’m still looking for an answer, life or death? Its unknown to me, dreams I will never achieve goals lost in murder, counseling is a place, I’m torn by what I’m going through I’m torn for I killed my family depression is sweeping all of humanity, Suicide is now an answer, I’ve always been shy from time to time, I use to look to my mom but now I with draw from her since I’m causing her to go crazy, I don’t know why I cause every one so much pain, fears I have of surviving, lost in this world, I’ve felt this way for way to long, jealousy has come over me what a teen dies when committed suicide, I want to be remembered but I’ve already been forgotten by my past, which wasn’t so long ago, I see everything of the world wondering if its all real, I don’t have faith, I want to die so at least by then you’d know how I was hiding and then remember, I whish I was different, but I’m not I slit my wrist, I overdose on meds… every ones the same here I want to be different I want to commit suicide, I hate poetry when people write more than me, I like to be the best but I know I’m not so why try, it’s not worth a damn when I’m still here lost, alone, people seem to get a bad vibe when they meet me on the other hand they love me and greet me with haste, I live in anger I hate how every thing is turning out to be, I whish I could find a new passage a new life, a new me, I whish I was happy, or at least better at disguising my pain, I get upset for no reason the only though that comes to mind is I’m stupid, I look up to people who have some one to call dad, why does every one die with out a trace, I can never forgive for my heart is to cold, I see pity in peoples eyes but not for me for you I can nit show pity when all I feel is greed, I want to be know by the world when I die I cant be forgotten but I know I will, friends are so complicated never able to understand them or hear them when I always get lied to, I am used for excuses I am blamed for your problems I am sucked in by the world its all mixed up when I would rather be dead.
[comments] => 7
[counter] => 295
[topic] => 36
[informant] => vinnie731
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 19
[ratings] => 4
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => Suicide
)
My Life
Contributed by
vinnie731
on
Monday, 27th January 2003 @ 10:45:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
My Life
I am young with unseen fears and untold dreams, I don’t understand the life I live, it’s to confusing to comprehend, school is my safe haven when I wanted to die, I search out teachers for my answers on life, I’ve been this way for a while, I look to fighting, I search for hatred, I’m unable to hate, with thoughts of killing, To most I’m a loser who is anorexic but I’m more than that but not a lot more, back in the day teachers hated me, but I began to change, I’m a girl of anger, I hide from the world , I hate the way of my life if only I could at least live one day happy instead of numb and sad, sadness is a causality I live for sadness, every day is faced with rejection, every day I cry for I am nothing compared to the rest. I though poetry of my own, but Im not alone with the pencil, suicide is still a question, I’m still looking for an answer, life or death? Its unknown to me, dreams I will never achieve goals lost in murder, counseling is a place, I’m torn by what I’m going through I’m torn for I killed my family depression is sweeping all of humanity, Suicide is now an answer, I’ve always been shy from time to time, I use to look to my mom but now I with draw from her since I’m causing her to go crazy, I don’t know why I cause every one so much pain, fears I have of surviving, lost in this world, I’ve felt this way for way to long, jealousy has come over me what a teen dies when committed suicide, I want to be remembered but I’ve already been forgotten by my past, which wasn’t so long ago, I see everything of the world wondering if its all real, I don’t have faith, I want to die so at least by then you’d know how I was hiding and then remember, I whish I was different, but I’m not I slit my wrist, I overdose on meds… every ones the same here I want to be different I want to commit suicide, I hate poetry when people write more than me, I like to be the best but I know I’m not so why try, it’s not worth a damn when I’m still here lost, alone, people seem to get a bad vibe when they meet me on the other hand they love me and greet me with haste, I live in anger I hate how every thing is turning out to be, I whish I could find a new passage a new life, a new me, I whish I was happy, or at least better at disguising my pain, I get upset for no reason the only though that comes to mind is I’m stupid, I look up to people who have some one to call dad, why does every one die with out a trace, I can never forgive for my heart is to cold, I see pity in peoples eyes but not for me for you I can nit show pity when all I feel is greed, I want to be know by the world when I die I cant be forgotten but I know I will, friends are so complicated never able to understand them or hear them when I always get lied to, I am used for excuses I am blamed for your problems I am sucked in by the world its all mixed up when I would rather be dead.
Copyright ©
vinnie731
... [
2003-01-27 22:45:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by horseluver on
Monday, 27th January 2003 @ 11:14:15 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow-this is filled with so much pain and heartache-and you have incredible talent in expressing that pain through writing. Many of us go through difficult times when we want nothing else but to just give up and die, but it WILL get better; maybe not at first but it will and you will be glad you stuck around to be here when it does. People do care about you and love you!!!!! Hang in there girl, and use writing to let out bad feelings-and you have so much talent! If you ever want to talk to someone, send me a message on here, and my screen name for AIM is LECunicorn (in case you use AIM). XXOO ~Jess |
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanna on
Tuesday, 28th January 2003 @ 10:56:36 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Hi Vinnie, ya asked me to read it and I did... I hope you continue to write as you definately have the ability to show VERY strong emotion.
A comment on your content ... There's definately times where life feels like a big ole kick in the teeth, but those times will pass and there are moments worth living for, awaiting in the shadows. You just have to look past the wall you've built around yourself.
I look foreward to reading more of your work.
Warmest regards ~ Tanna |
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by SpreadYourWings on
Wednesday, 29th January 2003 @ 01:56:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Beautiful poem. I feel that same exact way and yet i've been unable to put it into words. Excellent write Vinnie. Best of luck in the future |
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Wednesday, 29th January 2003 @ 02:06:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Vinnie you need to love your self first than others will too! This was so heartfelt touching!
So very sad! I hope you will get to that place where you can feel good about yourself again!
Hang in there! Best of luck to you!Christina |
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 1st February 2003 @ 03:35:24 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This was so brave of you. I could never read a poem like that in front of my peers. Wow I am blown away that poem is so amazing. I need to do that release with a good long rant.
I dont really know what to say. That poem just blew me away. I guess I feel alot like you do sometimes. Hang in there suicide isn't the answer.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by Feelin_Like_A_SadFellow on
Wednesday, 19th February 2003 @ 01:23:59 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| really strong and emotional poem... it shows the dark side of life... i especially like the part of the poem that fears being forgetten by its past.. its like losing all that you can ever have.. thats what i fear most never being known... thats why im hoping to name my band the 'forgetten never knowns" soon to be start when i can find people |
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Re: My Life
(User Rating: 1 )
by fallensilence on
Thursday, 27th March 2003 @ 05:04:49 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| "I want to be remembered but I’ve already been forgotten by my past, which wasn’t so long ago"- that line is so powerful , i can't tell you how many times i've felt that way as well. -david |
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