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Array
(
[sid] => 114334
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Walls of Solitude
[time] => 2006-02-06 02:53:23
[hometext] => It's been awhile...and still the light hasn't come
[bodytext] => These walls of solitude surround me soaring...towering...foreboding Obscuring the sun and the sky leaving shadows on my troubled soul No handholds to grasp...to climb bone against stone...blood in the mortar Nails torn...raw flesh ripped asunder countless falls from heights never reached Feet bloodied...swollen...numb pacing the perimeter that's left of myself Pathway lined with grief and anguish starting only to begin again...again Voices laughing...crying...calling regaling me with memories forgotten I strain to hear with deafened ears my heartbeat answering in kind Overgrown doorways...latches rusting vines full of thorns forbidding entry Trying to clear them with trembling hands blooms of my life...dead and decayed Trudging along...my past in the lead no looking back at the pain I have wrought Knowing that someday...maybe tomorrow the toll will be paid...yet I will owe more The wall is my focus...nothing else matters my eyes see only the barrier between Pieces of me hang lifeless...mocking swaying in time with my ragged breath Another doorway appears...darkened and damp I've been here before...the stench recalled I scream out in madness...remembrance the echoes resound with blurred clarity The door is sealed shut...the padlocks unyielding keyholes corrupted...or no keyholes at all I pound and I pound until my arms fall weary expecting no mercy...for none ever comes Finally I turn and look all around me the path at the base of the wall reminds I'm not locked out...not forbidden entry instead I'm within...lonely...forlorn I built the walls...stone by stone blocked off the doorways by my own design The locks are all mine...hung in desperation my burning tears turned the hinges to rust These walls of solitude surround me shielding me from the life I have lived Making me dwell in the smoldering ashes and crumbling ruins of my troubled soul [comments] => 3 [counter] => 207 [topic] => 75 [informant] => crow6279 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 13 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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