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Array ( [sid] => 114318 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Mental Disease [time] => 2006-02-05 22:04:01 [hometext] => this is my curse this is my pain that i have to live through every day [bodytext] => I hate calling it an illness
It is far worse than that
It courses through my very being
And I can get none of that back

I awaken in a dream
To discover, I have not awakened at all
Try to decipher a voice of reason
But there isn't anyone for me to call

Blame it on traumatic experiences
But, even I am not that sure
It doesn't explain away all the other stuff
My paranoia, steadily, runs pure

Intense emotions plague me
Day in and day out
I just try to make myself better
Never knowing what half of me is about

I want to, but... I don't trust anyone
Too ashamed to let someone in
Twisted and gnarled inside
Awaiting these mental games to begin. Again!

I have no control over what my own mind does to me
I'm freaked out and running scared
This mind of mine is against me, can't you see?
This is why I don't want to be here!

How is discussing all the bad things that happened
to me
Supposed to bring about some magic solution?
Will this cause the night terrors to end in me?
Psyche drugs and counseling; is this, your only resolution?

It doesn't stop this terror in my mind
Or stop my mind from terrorizing my heart
I fear the worlds intentions for me
And it is tearing my whole life, apart

Too bad you can't see inside of me
Or you will know how condemned I feel
Enough with your psycho babble ***
This mental disease is for real!

And it is destroying me, piece by piece
I am crawling within my own flesh
To know that suicide, will one day, be the end of me
Hating my life; even when I am at my very best

I slipped into a catatonic state once, I couldn't even scream
Crippled in agony of loss and defeat, I just could no longer take
How brutal it is to relive your nightmares, again and again
When you are completely aware, though paralyzed, and wide awake

My own mind is like a thief in the night
I wonder how much more of me it will steal
With all these mental disorders and illness' I have
Compound them together...
And you have a mental disease that is very real

And very dangerous for people just like me
And with no cure in sight to be found
Making it necessary to kill this disease
Even if the consequences means that, I, too...
Will be laid into the ground

At least my mind will be still and quiet
Schizophrenia, no longer causing my heart to pound
And my spirit can finally, and peacefully, rest
No longer unsettled by imagined fears, visions or sounds.

[comments] => 1 [counter] => 153 [topic] => 39 [informant] => rationality [notes] => |||||||This submission has been partially edited out, due to the use of letters and a forward-slash mark to indicate a banned word. Note: Failure to adhere to site rules can result in the termination of your membership. Consider yourself warned! Thank you. ♦Moderator_14♦||||||| [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Grief )
Mental Disease

Contributed by rationality on Sunday, 5th February 2006 @ 10:04:01 PM in AEST
Topic: Grief



I hate calling it an illness
It is far worse than that
It courses through my very being
And I can get none of that back

I awaken in a dream
To discover, I have not awakened at all
Try to decipher a voice of reason
But there isn't anyone for me to call

Blame it on traumatic experiences
But, even I am not that sure
It doesn't explain away all the other stuff
My paranoia, steadily, runs pure

Intense emotions plague me
Day in and day out
I just try to make myself better
Never knowing what half of me is about

I want to, but... I don't trust anyone
Too ashamed to let someone in
Twisted and gnarled inside
Awaiting these mental games to begin. Again!

I have no control over what my own mind does to me
I'm freaked out and running scared
This mind of mine is against me, can't you see?
This is why I don't want to be here!

How is discussing all the bad things that happened
to me
Supposed to bring about some magic solution?
Will this cause the night terrors to end in me?
Psyche drugs and counseling; is this, your only resolution?

It doesn't stop this terror in my mind
Or stop my mind from terrorizing my heart
I fear the worlds intentions for me
And it is tearing my whole life, apart

Too bad you can't see inside of me
Or you will know how condemned I feel
Enough with your psycho babble ***
This mental disease is for real!

And it is destroying me, piece by piece
I am crawling within my own flesh
To know that suicide, will one day, be the end of me
Hating my life; even when I am at my very best

I slipped into a catatonic state once, I couldn't even scream
Crippled in agony of loss and defeat, I just could no longer take
How brutal it is to relive your nightmares, again and again
When you are completely aware, though paralyzed, and wide awake

My own mind is like a thief in the night
I wonder how much more of me it will steal
With all these mental disorders and illness' I have
Compound them together...
And you have a mental disease that is very real

And very dangerous for people just like me
And with no cure in sight to be found
Making it necessary to kill this disease
Even if the consequences means that, I, too...
Will be laid into the ground

At least my mind will be still and quiet
Schizophrenia, no longer causing my heart to pound
And my spirit can finally, and peacefully, rest
No longer unsettled by imagined fears, visions or sounds.





Copyright © rationality ... [ 2006-02-05 22:04:01]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Mental Disease (User Rating: 1 )
by lovebug on Thursday, 23rd February 2006 @ 03:41:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time with your illness but you have forgotten one thing the Man upstairs created you and he has a cure for you all you have to do is ask Him and He will stretch out His Hand to you Only God can help. Just call on
Him and give your life to Him and feel the Difference He Will Make. My thoughts and prayers be with you. Please talk to Him TODAY !!!!




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