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Array
(
[sid] => 113419
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A Love story?? To those of you who know of my work, take a look
[time] => 2006-01-18 19:29:57
[hometext] => To those of you who know me, you will be familiar with my work, those of you who dont, read it anyway, its a story...heh heh, my first one, see what you think...-Sparda-
[bodytext] => Okies, where to start.. Picture this…Its New Years Eve, I manage to get a ticket for a club, so im walking around at 11.50 looking for somebody to kiss at 12, That’s My plan of action for most New Year’s eves, heh, never fails... So im walking around and I see her...she is angelic..., she looks at me...I look back...we catch a second of silence in each other's eyes, Even though the music in the club is way too loud to even think, somehow I am focused on her amazing beauty. Glowing all around her... Her red-browny hair, her face, are met with her unbelievable bright hazel eyes... she is Amazing... I pause for a second more, and take in her unbelievable aura... so... I decide that, this is too good to be true...im lost in her true beauty, and there is no possible way, she could ever like a stupid loser like me... So I keep walking past her, as she smiles to me... I think about her... I change my mind... I stop walking, too fast, and nearly fall on my face... She didn’t notice, lucky for me... I turn around and walk up to her... I say to her, im lost within your true beauty...you are stunning! I tell her, im looking for somebody to kiss at 12 midnight..I tell her my story... She seems to like me, and she says cheekily...do you want to practice...? So I say yes...and we kiss 2 mins before midnight We continue to kiss...I am lost within her...I am not believing this at all...this is too amazing to be real...I must be dreaming, but im not... We cheat time, and kiss for what seems like an eternity...I am still not believing this is happening... Then we decide to stop...she needed air anyways... I step back and gaze into her eyes... So anyways, we spend the rest of the night kissing... I tell her, I never want to leave her...I tell her I will see her again...even if she does live in Holland. I promise…I say. I am thinking…, this is the best night of my life...she tells me the same...it is perfect; she is perfect...how is this real? I go back to where she is staying and the rest of the night was awesomely amazing... I walk home in the morning, with scratches all over my back, but for once, Im happy...I feel alive again...I feel great...what the hell just happened?? So after a mile and a half walk to the train station, I find myself back where I started out...then I trek it back to my house, still feeling crap due alcohol abuse and the absence of sleep... I try to phone her, and she doesn’t reply, I text her and she doesn’t reply...I start to wonder if this was just a glimpse of how good my life could be, but Im starting to feel as though ill never see her again...ever..And it hurts… The pain becomes stronger now...and after not hearing from her for a day...the pain starts to become unbearable... I start to think that this was just a one night stand for her...I am the victim of her pleasure...the happiness she received, I paid for in pain... I start to think that I will never see her again...and it’s hurting me like ive never felt before... I love her…I don’t know how, but I didn’t need to...I knew it, and that was enough I don’t think there is anything I could ever do to make her feel the way I feel about her... So, with my pain in mind, scratching away in my head, like a tattooists needle, scarring my mind with all the good things that I had experienced that night, never to experience again...I succumb to the pain, and allow it to torture me... As it scratches away...I write...and I write what my heart is projecting... It tells me to spill, so I do... I write about her..I write what I think...I write about my pain...and that I feel I can never be with her... How can she make me feel so bad? Why is this happening to me? Does she want me to feel this way?, Does she know? So for 3 days, Im the walking dead, I cannot do anything...and when I try not to think about it, it tries even harder to hurt me... I feel there is no escape...even the normal escape route, suicide, is no longer viable...the door is locked now...she is holding the key..And my Heart..., torturing me within my own mind... I write some more, consumed in the madness I have created for myself..the pain with which I am all too familiar now... I give up, I am never going to see her again, I am bound to a life of neglect, pain and torture...and im back there now...all alone... What was I expecting? Im a loser, how could a beautiful, amazing girl like her, ever fall for a loser like me? I was lying to myself... I belong here, and this is my destiny...alone...unloved... Then...after a while..I get over her...the pain is so familiar now, I have become accustomed to it...she still exists within, within my Heart...always...stabbing me...but I get a grip and try to deal with it... Then, when I have nearly given up all hope of seeing her, she logs into msn...I had added her previously.. She is back in Holland...I ask her why she did this to me, I tell her the torture she has put me through, and she is sorry...she didn’t realize... She feels bad for it, but she really likes me…She didn’t want to hurt me, or herself, by seeing me again, she didn’t think it would ever work...I tell her about the poetry, and she is touched that I wrote it for her... I tell her I made a promise, and I am going to keep it..I will see you again... She says ok..I want to see you again..We will make it work... I tell her I miss her...and she says, I wish you were here... [comments] => 4 [counter] => 209 [topic] => 22 [informant] => Sparda [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 6 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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